Brutal

Chapter 11: Hockey God

Over the weekend, I tried to get used to using my crutches to get around. It was surprisingly difficult; apparently, I had very little upper body strength. By Sunday, though, I'd gotten a little better, but I knew getting around at school was going to suck.

I had also called in sick to work indefinitely. My parents seemed to be fine that I didn't want to go to the coffee shop with my crutches. I also texted my coworker, Harper, to let her know I wouldn't be in for a while.

An influx of texts and Instagram messages continued to come to my phone, people asking me if I was okay and wanting to know what happened. Josh messaged me as well, apologizing and asking how I was doing.

It hurts, I sent back. But I'll be fine.

Then, after thinking more about our conversation at the hospital, I sent another message. Sorry about what I said on Friday. I'd like to be friends.

Evidently, though, he hadn't meant what he said that day, either, because he replied, You were probably right. Maybe we should just keep our distance.

I stared at his message on my phone, my heart dropping. I thought, after the events at the rink, the way he seemed to care about me, maybe he had some sort of feelings for me, romantic or otherwise. But apparently he just felt guilty. Or maybe he pitied me.

Regardless, I didn't reply to his message.

Liv dropped by on Sunday afternoon with a care basket that mostly consisted of candy. I told her how everything went down, including how I was on the ice a total of about 2 minutes before the accident.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I forced you to go to his party."

I shook my head. "No, you didn't. I went for Jake. He's actually...not that unbearable." I paused, then added, "Sometimes."

"I think he has a crush on me," she said in a hushed voice, as though Jake was listening in from another room.

I laughed. "Jake has a crush on every girl."

Liv narrowed her eyes. "So, you're saying I'm nothing special?"

I backtracked, panicked that she was mad at me. "No, no. I mean...I'm just saying that–"

She grinned at me. "I'm just messing with you."

I rolled my eyes and then tentatively asked, "Do you...like him back or something?"

Liv shook her head. "No, definitely not. I just hope he doesn't ask me out. That'd be so awkward."

At the same time, I hoped Liv would never ask me out. That'd be a nightmare.

***

Later that night, as I laid in bed, I opened Grindr again. I hadn't been on it since I blew my cover with Josh.

I saw that he had either blocked me or deleted his profile, since he no longer showed up on the app.

Another profile, whose age showed as 18, popped up. For probably the first time since I'd downloaded Grindr, this person had an actual photo of their face and a name: Miles. He was cute, with curly brown hair, flawless skin, long eyelashes, and dimples. I was wary, though, because he definitely could've been a catfish.

His profile said he was a few miles away. It was one of the only normal messages I had received: Hey.

Hey, I messaged back.

What's up? Miles asked.

Nothing really, just watching TV, I responded. You?

Same, actually. What are you watching?