Hidden in Stars

06|• Sharing pain

(Finding tranquility)

Ruhi - 14,Yuvaan - 18

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Lost.

A mere word can be used in many stances, when you lost against someone, when you lost something, when you lost the sight and when you lost someone.

In every stance, the feelings will overwhelm you, and block your ability to think straight, to think right, to do something right.

Because lost itself is connected with wrong.

In the dark silent room, grief echoed loudly. The feeling of emptiness stills inside the four walls, the once lively room turned into solemn reason to cry.

Ruhi sighed, maybe she should get up and help everyone with serving food or maybe she should just sleep. The latter sounds better and tempting but not acceptable.

Sitting alone on the cold floor while hugging her knees feeling all vulnerable as Ruhaan put his head on her shoulder. Her eyes feeling heavy from crying and lack of sleep, the silent snores of ruhaan lures her into slumber but a sound of door opening makes her snap out her reverie.

"Khana?" Yuvaan asked slowly as he searched for the switch aimlessly, the darkness of the room not helping him.

"Bukh nahi h. " She denied quietly, not really paying attention to him.

Contrary to her words, she was hungry but did not feel like eating.

"Kyu nahi h? " Giving up the hunting of switches, he just walked towards them. The only source of light coming was a balcony, giving the room a fairy glow of full moon.

"Ab iska kaise answer du? " She pursues her lips, not finding a list of excuses she usually has when she does not want to eat.

"Are you tired? " He asked instead, raising his hand to caress her hair watching how her eyes immediately dropped in relaxation.

"Hmm, little bit. "

"Hmm hmm. " He hummed in acknowledgement as Ruhi put her head on his shoulder, making sure Ruhaan did not fall off.

"Have you ever broken a promise? " She asked in a soft tone staring blankly at the balcony. Yuvaan thought a little before sighing and nodding, making her surprised as she looked up a little.

"Sachhi? "

"Haan."

"Konsa? "

"A promise I made with my father. " He paused gingerly observing her confused face and put his hand on her head to make her lay her head on his shoulder once again.

"I was four when I made that promise-a promise that I will stay with him forever but I think forever usually means a moment, a moment where everything stops and you are happy and content. " He sighed looking at the moon.

"Do you regret breaking that promise? Ruhi asked after a moment, keenly looking at him. He frowned before turning his gaze at her, his eyes devoid of any emotions.

"Hmm? " A confused hummed left her lips as he chuckled.

"The promise that I made was with my baba, not a father. My baba was kind and full of love who used to do anything to bring us a smile but everything changed with time I guess. My baba became someone who I am strange to, who I didn't know. He started to drink, betting and other bad habits, he was not my baba anymore." A shaky breath left his lips as he wiped his clammy hands on his pants.

"My baba wouldn't hurt my aai, he wouldn't cheat on her, beat her, hurt her, he wouldn't even dare to do anything that will bring tears in her eyes, he wasn't my baba anymore, he had a face of my baba but personality of a devil. And if he wasn't my baba who I made a promise with then how can I continue my promise with him? "

A sad smile laced his face as he remembered how time changes everything, and everyone.

"Do you... Miss him? " Ruhi asked with uncertainty and bit her lips after immediately regretting her words.

"I am sorry, i-"

"Sometimes."

"Hmm? "

"Sometimes I wish that I also had a father figure in my life, sometimes I also miss him, how he used to joke and loves us, takes care of us. But only for sometimes, that feeling usually converted into hatred when I realised what he became after. "

Ruhi sighed and rubbed her eyes, feeling them water a little. This was the first time he had shared about his father, it was not like she hadn't asked him, but that was when she was nine, she saw how uncomfortable he looked and dropped that topic and never picked it up after it. She had heard some pieces from her mother and some aunties but she didn't prey much.

Why people do this, why ruin a perfect life for something that is harmful to you. A happy life and a happy family all crumbles in an instant.

"It must be hard. "

"It was harder for my aai not for me. She was the one who fought with everyone and everything to give me a bright future and peaceful environment, she is my superhero. "

A proud and loving smile formed on his face remembering his aai, who now worked as a teacher to provide for them.

Superhero.

For her, a superhero was her baba and ajoba. While one is gathered in danger and the other has already slept forever.

"I miss him. " Ruhi finally breaks down, putting her eyes on his shoulder as silent tears soaked his shirt.

"It's fine. " He said, putting his arm around her, patting her head to soothe her.

"I am here, you can cry. "

Ruhi sniffles before nodding, not moving her head.

"Till when? " She crocks out.

Yuvaan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he put his head above her head.

"Matlab? "

"Kab tak rahoge?"

"Jab tak tum khud na feko zindagi se mujhe. "

"You shouldn't promise something that you'll regret later. "

"I will never regret you and him. "

He said pointing at sleeping ruhaan on her shoulders and Ruhi smiled before shaking her head and wiping her tears.

"It's fine, I know I am irritating."

"If you are irritating then I am ready to get irritated for life. "

She let out a questioning hum and there was little amusement in her face, red nose and glossy eyes looking at him.

She smiled faintly and said "Matlab tum mera jindagi bhar peecha nhi choroge. "

"Irada toh bilkul nahi h. "

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