Book of Random Feelings

Numb

What am I feeling?

I feel emptiness and numbness.
I'm just floating here... floating weightlessly in the air.
I'm losing my faith in the Lord.

What is happening to me?

Somebody save me.
Save me from this madness.
My tears and numbness are my only food day and night.
I always feel afraid.

I suddenly feel... anger.... then
....

REGRET.

I want to go back.

I want to go back to the times that I was young.
I want everything to be perfectly fine again.

But sadly, I know I can't.

I feel despair... I...

I am starting to crumble.
I'm trapped.
My mind is in ruins.

.....

I...

I know..

I know that I am not crazy.
All I can feel is numbness filled with agony.

Sometimes... sometimes I don't know anymore.

Help...
Help me!

I am slowly losing my humanity.

T_T I feel lost.

I don't need to witness hell anymore.
Because... because I'm already here.
I am in my own personal hell.
Guess I'm just one of the few unfortunate fallen angels.
*fake laughter*

Pain without love.
Pain I can't get enough.
Pain without love.
'Cause I rather feel pain than nothing at all.

Anger and agony are better than misery.
(Pain- Three Days Grace)

I was right beside you went you went to hell and back again.
And I how can I save a fallen angel.

(Fallen Angel- Three Days Grace)

....

Those words...

I wonder when God is going to save me as a fallen angel.
Hmmm...
perhaps not.
Perhaps I am doomed for eternity.
Perhaps I wasn't written in the book of life.

I hate what I've become.