Book of Random Feelings

My Life

To answer Panfreakshow777
I also included my childhood life here.

I love Man in the Mirror, Black or White, Jam, Beat It, You Are Not Alone, Billy Jean and many more. I forgot the other titles. My life is the same with John though. I wasn't allowed to listen to Rock n' Roll. But when I first heard of MJ I was 4 then, my parents surprisingly allowed me. And now, I'm currently listening to Metal, and Rock, Emo, Gothic, Screamo and Christian Bands secretly with my headphones.

The funny thing is that, whenever she gets my headphones or earphones, I will quicklu change the music into classical ones or a Gospel song. Which she nods in satisfaction that I am not listening to any satanic.

My mom became aware of it all of a sudden. But I explained to her that Skillet isn't satanic or any of the secular bands! Oh come on! She thinks every rock band is satanic except for MJ.

She thinks they are all poisoning my mindm Hello? Don't be such a stereotype.

Anyways, she told me that it's fine as long as she doesn't get to hear it.

My mom also likes piano so we won't be able to get along with our style of music.
And my mom along with my dad is very over protective. At the age of 4, I was already sheltered inside the house which developed my Anxiety Disorder until now that eventually made me Bipolar

I never got the chance to enjoy my childhood and in a very early age, I faced many problems until now. My mom still doesn't appreciate my good works. She only notices my flaws. And she calls me immature and a girl who doesn't care about anything around her including the people that surrounds her. She calls me immature because I don't know anything about house chores. But... she doesn't want me to donit because I might get sick due to the dust. How absurd.In a simple way calling me a bit dumb. She would tell me that in front of my face without caring about my feelings.

So anyway, it's like a have a bit of a destructive relationship with my mother. But despite that, I still really love her. It's like we have a love and hate relationship. While, I have a very good relationship with my dad.

In my point of view, being matured isn't all about learning house chores or anything with the physical jobs, you know what I am saying?

Being matured is also being able to know what is right or wrong. Being responsible. Feeling the emotions and problems of the people around you and being able to understand them. Which I doubt my mother would understand.

You see my mom is a bit of a perfectionist. But I still really love her. And I am trying my best to understand her.

So... I have a little bit simillarity with John.

Hope you enjoyed knowing my life a little bit. ☺ See ya my fellow panheads!