Love's Bite | Astarion x Tav Fanfic

A Taste of Freedom

I was dead. After I defeated Orin, my father stole my life from me. I remember existing one minute, then darkness the next. There was nothing. I did hear Astarion scream. My heart broke for him in that last second of life. Infinity stretched forever.
Then, I came to. I thought I was surely in hell. That the devil had claimed my soul. But no. I was reborn, and a withered face greeted me. It was Withers.
I choked as I wobbled to my knees. He spoke but I could barely understand a word.
"Death will not claim thee whilst I endure," his words became clear.
"Who are you?" I struggled to speak.
"A scribe, a seneschal - a keeper of records. And now, thine advocate, both here, and in the City of the Dead," Withers said.
I had no idea what that mean't.
"Thank you for saving me," I managed to say, still mustering up the strength to get to my feet.
"I can only give what thou hast earned. Bhaal tried to extinguish thee, but his wrath is imprecise. He only succeeded in killing the part of thee he knew. The Urge that drove thee to terrible acts. The spark of brutality that made thee his. But there is a new part of you that hath grown during thy travels. That part, Bhaal could not extinguish. And so instead of destroying thee, he hath made thee anew," Withers explained.
"I'd be worm food if it wasn't for you. Thank you," Shadowheart chimed in.
"And I'd most definitely have been killed in Cazador's ritual," Astarion said, voice shakey.
"The heart of a saviour hath overshadowed the mind of a murderer. Thou hast vanquished thing Urge," Withers continued.
My mind was racing, and my body ached.
"I- did you know who I was this entire time?" I asked.
"I know all, but to state truths is to interfere, for the minds of mortals are easily swayed. My place, for the most part, is to observe. This intervention, the reclamation of thy soul, is beyond mine ordinary remit. But thou art extraordinary, and so are these times. Greet the bloodless dawn, child of none.
"Thank you," I said as I got to my feet.
"Do not thank me - trust in thy courage, and the conviction of thy companions. A hero has risen from a legacy of death," with that Withers left.
I stared at my hands. The blood on them gone with my memories.
"Well done darling," Astarion approached.
I sunk my head into his chest. He held me tight until I wanted him to let go.
"Let's get out of here," I said.
We made our way back to the Elfsong. I was exhausted. For a moment, I was dead. It was terrifying. The blackness. Cold, and dark. My mind circled these thoughts, until I drifted into a sleep.

————

I woke up feeling refreshed. As if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. There was only one thing left to do and this would all be over. Before that though, I had an idea. One final thing to do before we went after the Elder Brain. I walked up to Astarion.
"Good morning darling," he said.
I leaned in and kissed his cheek.
"I have an idea."
"What is it?" He asked.
"Well we still have a couple days before we are going to take on the brain. I propose we go on a date."
A smile grew across Astarion's face, "it would be my pleasure."
"Great, I know the perfect thing to do. It's a surprise. We'll head out tonight," I told him.
Astarion agreed. I felt excited. We'd finally have one normal day to ourselves.

Later that evening, I put on my finest boots, a long dress with a corset, and did my makeup. I wanted to feel like a new person. When I was positive I was presentable, I went to find Astarion. He too had dressed up for the occasion, looking more like an aristocrat than when he wore his adventuring attire.
"You're beautiful," he said as I approached.
I smiled, "thank you. You are too."
I thought back to when Astarion wanted to be called beautiful. We'd come so far from that moment.
I held out my hand, "shall we?"
Astarion took it and followed my lead.

We walked thought the streets of Baldur's Gate.
"I realised that while we spend day in and day out together. We really don't know that much about each other. Of course we know each other's quirks, how our minds work, but I can't remember what I enjoyed. From what you've told me, you didn't have much freedom during your time with Cazador. I thought we could make new memories together," I said.
"That sounds delightful, what are we doing?" 
"You'll see," I smiled.
I continued through the streets, until we came across a park. As we strolled along, I looked for the perfect place to sit. Eventually I chose a spot that you could see the ocean. I placed a blanket on the green grass.
"I wish we could have a picnic," he said.
"I didn't think it would be a good idea since you can't eat," I laughed.
"Well you can."
"We can go to a tavern later, don't worry," I said.
He nodded as he watched the ocean.
"You haven't spoken about how you died yesterday,"Astarion's voice drifted off.
"I know. It was just terrifying. I've barely been able to process it," I said.
"This will probably sound foolish, but have you tried writing poetry about it?" He asked.
A poem. I knew he loved his poetry.
"No, I haven't. But I can try."
"Just speak the words as they come," Astarion said.
I thought for a moment.
"One moment there was fear,
Then, there was nothing.
My mind, and soul erased from existence."
I paused thinking what to say next.
"The blackness stretched out infinitely,
Even if for a mere moment.
Only when the lights came back on,
I could perceive what infinity really is."
I felt my words drift off my tongue effortlessly.
"It's natural to fear death,
To come to terms with the idea,
That you simply cease to exist.

In those next few moments,
After I saw the chasm of death,
A primal fear awoke.
One that I know I'll spend my life fighting."

There were a few moments of silence.
"I'm sorry that happened to you," Astarion said.
"It was either death or join my father. I couldn't do that. Even thought I knew I'd be letting you down."
"I will admit, I was terrified I'd lost you. But I understand why you had to do it," Astarion's features softened.
"You're not angry?" I asked.
"If I got my freedom, then I would've wanted you to as well. Even if it meant in death. Truthfully I don't know what I would've done if you perished. But I'd rather not dwell on it," he said.
"Let's just focus on our future. We have a lot to learn, we have to discover ourselves all over again. But I'm glad we can at least do it together," I told him.
He nodded, "I love you."
"I love you too."
We sat in that blanket and watched the bustling city. I felt safer than I'd ever been.