Love's Bite | Astarion x Tav Fanfic

Aging

The plan was simple, leave bread crumbs sharran followers with little bits of misleading information. While I was known as a hero in Baldur's Gate, Waterdeep was a different story. They wouldn't know who I was. Shadowheart however, was hated by every sharran, and we intended to use that. It wasn't difficult. I had been watching the hideout. It was also called the house of grief, the same as in Baldur's Gate. I learned who frequented there, and those who obviously had to be serving under Shar. As I watched, I attempted to calculate which follower would be easiest to manipulate. It was easy to tell who ranked higher than others. I knew I'd rather not risk someone who'd see through our lies. Then the perfect candidate all but fell into my lap. A young lady, who had an air of innocence to her. She strolled along excited for life, for every prospect.
'Why is she a follower of Shar?' I wondered.
I followed her, curious. I'd need to know her movements if I were to infiltrate their house of grief. As she wound through the streets, I tailed her. The girl went to your typical places, the market, picking up some cheese bread, then the florist. After that she stopped by the graveyard, kneeling in front of a grave.
"A parent perhaps?" I mumbled to myself.
She lingered for a while, placing the flowers in front of the grave, and eating the bread.
Then she stood and left. After a few more minutes of walking the young lady entered a tavern. I followed, sitting in a corner observing.
She was friendly with the staff. I sipped my wine, occasionally glancing in her direction. Almost as if in a trance, I neglected my surroundings. A distant bell chimed, knocking me back into reality. It was 9pm.
'Shit,' I thought. Astarion would be awake by now.
I sprinted home.

————

"Ah the prodigal child has arrived," Astarion said as I entered the room.
Astarion sat in bed reading a book.
"Sorry I was gathering intel."
"Darling, you don't have to rush home for me," he said.
I smiled, then leapt onto him arms open.
"Ow!" He said.
I laughed as I wrapped my arms around him.
"You're a child," he said.
"And you love it."
He remained quiet, and tried not to laugh.
Instead, Astarion lightly kissed my cheek.
"What were you up to?"
"I was tailing a young sharran girl, there was just something about her. But I think she's the one we have to drop the information to," I said.
Astarion stared off into the distance for a moment.
"Should I butter her up?" He finally broke his trail of thought.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Oh you know whisper sweet nothings in her ear, buy her a drink or two," he said.
I frowned, "you didn't have enough of that for two hundred years?"
"Darling, you know I'd only be doing it to manipulate her. You don't have to worry about anything else."
"I know.... I just don't want you to have to put yourself in that position again. You've come so far, what if it triggers something?"
"Don't worry about it. A small price to pay for walking in the sun."
"If you're sure..." my voice trailed off.
It was hard not to worry about the what ifs. I know Astarion is faithful, so that wasn't my issue. I just wanted to protect him, and make sure he never had to deal with his past again.
I tossed and turned that night. It had been months since I slept so poorly, but it was finally happening. Astarion could potentially walk in the sun. How was I supposed to not be anxious?

The next day I filled Shadowheart in on the plan. Astarion was to chat with the girl, flirt a little, buy her some drinks. Then it was her cue to waltz in. All she had to do was mention they were travelling together and really sell it.
"I can't just mention it the first time I meet her. We need to calculate this," Shadowheart said.
"You should wait a while. Give her a different name at first, then have a few drinks and pretend to be drunk. If she asks why you're in town then act like you're telling her some big secret," I agreed.
"If she doesn't ask?"
"Then we play it slow, go back the next night and earn her trust even more."
She nodded.

That night, I settled in a corner of the tavern, keeping an eye out. My role in this was to watch with Gale, in case we were needed. While highly unlikely, we always had to prepare for the worst.
"Ah I used to love this tavern when I was a lad. 'The Galloping Minotaur.' While not the finest establishment Waterdeep has to offer, it is rather comfortable," Gale said taking in the atmosphere.
"You seem quite fond of it," I smiled.
"Yes, on occasion I did go out in my youth," he laughed.
"And here I thought you were cooped up in that tower all the time."
"Tara simply wouldn't have it. Besides, I had to become familiar with the opposite sex somehow," Gale explained.
"I-" I caught sight of the young girl.
"What is it?" Gale asked turning around.
I kicked his foot under the table.
"Don't be so obvious," I said through a smile.
"Right," he nodded.
I watched as Astarion moved in, incredibly smoothly. With nothing more than a smile, I could tell she was curious. While I know it was all an act, watching Astarion flirt so easily caused insecurity to rise up within me. This girl was pretty. She looked to be around 20, with long brown hair and soft features. It appeared the sharran training hadn't worn down her complexion yet. Her face was flawless with not a wrinkle in sight. I stared at my reflection in my cup, the lines of stress were starting to crease more and more. How long until it would become permanent?
"Wow she is pleasing to the eyes," Gale said.
I kicked his foot under the table again.
"Ow! What did I do?"
I rolled my eyes exasperated. How had I not realised how pretty she was before?
I continued to watch, as she touched his arm, and as Astarion touched hers.
"I'm not strong enough for this," I finally said, voice trailing off.
Gale subtly glanced behind him.
"Oh I see what the issue is now. You're forgetting the one thing you have that no other does," Gale said, expecting me to know the answer.
"What?" I gave him a questioning look.
"You saved him."
My heart skipped a beat. I did save him. And he saved me.
I smiled at Gale. He had a point.
"Maybe you are smart," I teased him.
"I have my moments," he said.
My gaze shifted back to Astarion, Shadowheart had joined them. I cursed myself for getting distracted so easily.
They laughed, chatted, and drank. I could tell Shadowheart was flirting too. The more she drank, the more I could tell she was drunk. Then, Shadowheart placed her lips to the young girls ear. I watched as she froze. I knew Shadowheart had achieved her task. It wasn't long after that that the girl excused herself.

Astarion and Shadowheart remained at the bar for a few more minutes, then came to join us. Astarion sat beside me and Shadowheart sat next to Gale.
"Well darling, the plan worked," Astarion said.
"See, I have the best ideas," I said.
"That you do," Astarion went to kiss my cheek.
I tensed....
Why did I tense?
Astarion must've noticed because he stopped, then continued chatting with the others.
My mind circled. Why did freeze like that? I searched for every possible answer. Something was bothering me. Why? I devised this plan. My own insecurities?
I felt a rush of guilt. The last time Astarion had made me feel uncomfortable, we were in camp. He'd always made me feel safe. Why was my mind even questioning his loyalty?
"Tav!" Shadowheart said.
"Huh? Sorry."
"What are our next steps?" She asked.
"We wait for them to come to us," I said.
"How do we know she'll take the bait?" Astarion asked.
"She's no doubt loyal, I could tell from the moment I met her. The girl will definitely want to get in their good books. It seems she only recently joined the church," Shadowheart said.
A thought occurred to me, "what was her name?"
"Imogen," Astarion said.
"I see..." I said quietly.
Attaching a name to a face made her more human, rather than just a tool in our plan. I felt the guilt in my stomach increase. She seemed like a sweet girl.

————

Later that evening, I lay in bed staring at the canopy above it. My mind was swirling with thoughts. Why did I allow my doubts and insecurities to overwhelm me? After all this, was my self worth still so little? Or was it that I only see myself as worthy as long as Astarion loves me? I wanted to scream. Was I that stereotypical? Putting all my worthiness in man. I was scared. Worried that if I aged, Astarion wouldn't want me anymore.
"What's wrong?" Astarion asked.
I snapped out of my trail of thought, "nothing. Just tired."
"I don't think that's the case."
"Am I really that easy to read?" I signed.
"Well you are my partner darling."
"It's stupid. Really doesn't matter at all," I attempted to change the subject.
"You saw how easy it was for me to flirt with that girl, and you're wondering how. You're also comparing yourself to her," he said.
"I-" my cheeks began to flush.
"Oh sweetheart, I can understand why you'd think that. But remember, 200 years of habits don't just go away. It was all a performance."
"I know..... I just see the signs of aging in myself. I'm slowly dying. You're not. Who even knows how many years the tadpole ordeal took off my life. The constant stress surely did something. And Imogen, was just so much younger, far more pretty."
Astarion went quiet. I couldn't read his face. Then, he finally spoke.
"I think about how you're aging everyday, and how I'm not. I'd be lying if I didn't say it upsets me. But the hole in my chest at even the slightest thought of losing you, aches too much. However, I have a lifetime to deal with that. To figure out how to cope. So don't worry about that. It's not your job to worry about it. All you have to do is keep growing older, smiling, and being with me."
I felt the tears well in my eyes.
"I didn't know it stressed you out so much. I can fix it somehow, surely."
"Darling, you don't have to fix anything. I should've died 200 years ago. It's a privilege to have been here to meet you. Although, I wish I could've skipped the Cazador part. But I made my choice that night on the streets of Baldur's Gate, and you're the only good thing to come of it."
I let the tears fall. It was the first time I properly cried in a while. Funnily enough, it was therapeutic. Astarion watched, unsure what to do. No doubt questioning if I needed space or not.
"Do you want a hug?" He asked.
I nodded, and he scooped me up in his arms. I lay there for a while, and eventually drifted into a deep sleep.