"I just want to go on the record saying I don't know who these people are or why they want us dead, and that kind of annoys me," Campots said. He ducked behind a tall, leafy tree on the top of a hill with Thipins following him into cover. Arrows hit the tree and the powdery dirt on the hilltop. Campots looked at his fellow goblin and said, "I hope I don't sound petty."
"Not at all," Thipins reassured his friend. "It's been on my mind, too. Usually we get more warning before a group this big comes after us. Sometimes there's even some kind of justification for the whole thing. But this time, poof, crazies coming out of the woodworks, no warning, no reason."
"It's a thing with me," Campots continued. "Somebody tries to kill me and I want to know why."
Thipins patted him on the shoulder. "We all have our little quirks."
The two goblins were in trouble, but for a change they weren't alone. Four other members of Overlord Joshua's forces were trying to hold the high ground overlooking the Not at All Magnificent Teal River. The name said it all. The river was so shallow that the attacking humans were wading across it. Once they got to the other side they'd have to climb a steep, grassy hill defended by the two goblins and their compatriots. That would be a daunting challenge, but what these screaming humans lacked in organization, heavy weapons and basic hygiene, they more than made up for in numbers.
Campots took a coil of rope off his shoulder and tossed it over a low hanging tree branch. "There's got to be two hundred of them. Don't these people have jobs?"
"I'm thinking no," Thipins replied. He caught the rope and pulled it down, then pulled it tight and tied it to a second nearby tree. The rope got caught on the short spikes growing from his shoulders, but he pulled it off without much damage. With that done he stopped to study the approaching horde of men. "I see a couple army uniforms in the crowd, but they're thread bare. I figure those guys are army deserters. The rest of them? No idea."
"And the weekend started so nice," Campots said as he set a trip line. The turquois blue skinned goblin wiped sweat off his brow and frowned. "We got to play with Joshua before his nap, our side was doing good for food and money, and then these guys had to show up."
"It's just one of those days," Thipins told him.
Life in Overlord Joshua's army had been going surprisingly well. Joshua's army had grown to include a hundred dangerous men, women and miscellaneous things devoted to the cause of world domination. They'd picked up five hundred lesser but still competent warriors. Local peasants fully supported them, not surprising given how dysfunctional The Land of the Nine Dukes was. They'd seized plenty of territory and fought off the armies of Duke Edgely, Duke Thornwood and Duke Kramer. In all honesty that was less of an accomplishment than it sounded, since Duke Kramer and Duke Thornwood had been more interested in fighting each other than Joshua's army. Once they were done beating on each other it hadn't been hard to drive them off.
But holding so much land against so many foes required building fortifications to guard it. They didn't have the time, money or materials to do so, which meant they had to patrol the territory to detect and destroy incoming enemies. It was Thipins' and Campots' bad luck that they were part of the patrol that ran straight into an invading army, identity unknown. The two hundred men were armed with swords, shields and a few bows, with most wearing regular clothes or leather armor, too dangerous to attack. The goblins and their allies had pulled back to defendable ground and tried to stay hidden while some of their members went for help. Unfortunately the enemy had seen them and was coming fast.
