A Tumbler Full of Tales - ICT and beyond (ON HOLD)

Accepting disappointment - The First Part (A different take) (MahiRoRat?)

MS twirled around the green stem of a strawberry with his fingers, his eyes trying to follow the motion, appreciating the unexpected beauty.

Unexpected.

With no clear thoughts peeking through, MS unlocked his phone, went back to the missed call list and redialed the persisting number. The call was immediately picked.

"Mahi Bhai?"

MS frowned, took a look at his phone's screen and placed it back on his ear. "Rohit? You are with Virat?"

"Yeah, Bhaiya. Rather, he is with me.... We were worried because you weren't receiving our calls. I told Virat that you must have forgotten your phone in a drawer again but your Cheeku wouldn't listen to me. He is having a notion that you are angry with us; as if! I almost smacked him Bhaiya! He says anything! Makes no sense, your Cheeku!  Bhai, just tell him to stop being such a moronic jerk! He did not sleep last night and kept me up too! He is that... that.... You know, Bhaiya. Keeps doing all those weird things. How does his mind not get tired huh? Keeps running here and there, his mind. What, Bhai? Why is he like this? In one second, his mind can run there... you know na, to there and back...."

Only rarely did Rohit talk someone's ear off and it was even rarer for that ear to be MS's. The veteran dragged a booted foot through the surrounding loosened soil and patiently waited for the motormouth to stop. And he did stop in a little bit.

An awkward silence ensued.

There were assembled voices at the other end of the phone call and a moment later, the phone crackled.

"Hey MS. Umm... Virat here."

MS lifted his eyes towards the horizon and executed a slow, dragging blink; he was exasperated. "I do recognise your voice, Virat. I am 42; not really in my dotage yet."

"Oh... Yeah; there's that." A low hesitant chuckle. "How are you doing, Mahi Bhai?"

"Good. I am good." MS tracked around his mind for words and came up empty. "Any reason you were calling?" It did not sound very polite, in hindsight, but MS was not feeling especially chivalrous.

"I...I wanted to speak to you?" Virat sounded unsettled and MS felt the gentlest flutter of remorse and guilt caress his thoughts. "We haven't spoken to you since the funeral."

"Funeral?" MS sat up and frowned.

"Sorry... Dunno how... Finals... I meant, the finals."

"Was nothing short of a funeral; you are not wrong Virat." Rohit's voice came from a bit further away and shook the slightest bit.

MS dragged a hand through his hair and grimaced at the feeling of the sweat he found there; the one peril of maintaining a longer hairstyle. He shook away the stray thoughts and dragged his mind back to his kids.

Yeah. At the end of everything, they still remained his kids and he a fairly young and perpetually flustered father. Raising Ziva has been a much easier job.

"Bhaiya?"

"What is it, Rohit?" A sparrow was pecking at some stray birdseeds, worryingly unafraid of MS; a smile lifted up the man's lips, causing the furrows on his face to deepen. "Hmm?"

"Bhaiya, is Virat right?"

"He usually isn't, but about what, specifically?"

"About you being angry?"

MS took a moment to simply breathe; the pinkish hue of the oncoming evening was quickly getting darker and the environment created was so much more sublime. The thoughts were beginning to slot into place. "Angry? No Rohit. I am not angry."

That was certainly the one emotion MS was not feeling.

"Of course not." Rohit sounded relieved. "I told Virat that you were not angry!" The kid was repeating his words.

"Yeah. I am not angry..."

"What else, MS?" Virat would have caught the contemplation his words, was MS's thought. He had always been perceptive and after 2022, that had only increased so much more.

"What do you mean, Virat?" Rohit was asking and the modulations in his voice kept changing. Knowing Rohit, he must be stomping all over the room.

Were they even in a room?

"MS?" Mahendra Singh Dhoni could read the barely suppressed consternation in Virat's voice.

He inhaled deeply. "What do you want me to say, Virat?"

"I don't know, Bhai! I really do not know." A pause. "You say that you are not angry. Are you... Then, what are you? Why were you not picking up our calls? At least, Rohit's calls? You never miss Rohit's calls. Were you sitting and staring at the phone while it rang away?"

"Of course he wouldn't have, Virat!" Rohit interrupted with alacrity. "He would never!" There was desperation in his voice and utter disbelief.

Virat scoffed and MS barely held back his laughter; there was a reason that his friendship with Virat flourished and he did not just remain as his 'elder brother'.

"Then you do not know him, Rohit. He would do that, and more, but he usually doesn't. What was it this time, MS? We-We needed you after that Final, MS. I tried to call you so many times. Even during the tournament. Did.... Did I do something? Did we? Rohit and I? Talk to me, Bhai! At least boliye toh! What is it? Are you upset? Peeved? Disappointed? Anno..."

MS could not keep back the hitch in his breath.

"Disappointed, Bhai? Really? Are you really?"

MS felt his eyes burn and he allowed a singular tear to track down his face. He had feared to name the emotion after that one time he had spoken with Jassi. He knew that he had no right to. Disappointment? That was a harsh word for even a stranger. What right did MS really have, to crush the spirits of his brothers?

"Bhaiya?" Rohit's shaky voice forced him to still his thoughts for a moment. "Bhaiya, I-I am sorry. Sorry t-that I couldn't... T-That..."

MS knew what Rohit was about to owe up to, but he didn't wish to listen to it. That was so flung away from what he was really felling.... But what was he really felling? Why was his ever-trustworthy brain giving up on him?

Rohit was still talking. "I-I... I am truly sorry for not...not winning... I..."

"No. No, Rohit. Not that, kiddo. Never that!" MS felt his face become increasingly wet and he blinked furiously. "I-I did not mean that."

"Then what, Bhaiya? What is it? Do you know, Virat?"

"No, Rohit. I do not. Care to elucidate, MS?"

MS could hear the sarcasm in Virat's voice and yet, there was an underlying weight of desperation and grief. His thoughts and emotions twisted his heart in anguish.

And he questioned himself yet again; why was he disappointed? Did he do the one thing he had promised himself that he never would? Did he create his own heartbreak through exception?

The last bright sun rays of the day hit his eyes and MS finally dropped his face into his heads; he finally felt defeated.

A/N - There may be a second part or it may be as it is.

I did not spend much time on this but somehow the words rolled.

The characterisations may be quirky and screwed up.  I know. This is akin a writing exercise I set for myself.

Yeah. Will look forward to your thoughts.

Thank you and Take Care.