Vision (rewritten)

Chapter 8

"I have a few errands to run around the pack this morning." Julie told me quietly, I had been gazing out the window before she spoke. Mostly wondering what exactly I should be doing with my time here. Back home Kent would frequently bring me books to occupy my mind, there was a library within the pack boundaries that was free for any of us to use, but I wouldn't dare go in - wouldn't go anywhere I didn't have too, really. It was too risky, even if I managed to go a whole outing without a vision I still had to deal with my pack mates. most of whom had no issues letting me know how much they disliked me.

I figured there would probably be something similar here, though I didn't really want to ask after it. Truthfully I had no idea my place here really. Julie had pretty much confirmed that Alpha Sutton hadn't told his pack that I was his mate. I'm sure a lot of them must have figured that out, why else would he return from a pack visit with a girl in tow who he allowed to live in his own home?

So, what did that mean for me? It wasn't like the pack knowing was going to automatically make me their Luna or whatever - sure, they'd know it was likely to happen, but it's not that simple. It certainly wouldn't be made official until we'd fully mated... The idea of that sent a blush rising to my cheeks, I couldn't help the extreme desire I had to be fully mated with Liam, that didn't mean it was a good idea though. As much as I found myself unable to tell him the truth about myself, I knew I couldn't ever let the mating process progress without him knowing everything. I wasn't sure if rejection was even possible once the female was marked... 

That meant I was just here amongst his pack, not really a part of it, Julie was the only other wolf I interacted with - Liam was around, sure. But he didn't exactly keep my company or include me in anything. I couldn't really blame him, like I said, I wasn't a part of the pack, not officially. And Liam hadn't said anything about me joining the pack. Completing the mating process with an Alpha would mean being accepted into the pack, but that wasn't going to happen. Didn't exactly seem like Liam even had a desire for that to happen. He could just bypass that of course, and verbally accept me into the pack. Maybe he just didn't want me to join. 

It was so hard to understand him. He wants me around, just not in his pack. Alive, safe from my old pack. But not truly a part of this one. I'd love to hear his explanations,  but he didn't offer any, and I wasn't going to ask.

And then there was Julie, I didn't really get her place either. She seemed to sort of act as the Luna around here. Obviously they didn't have a legitimate Luna - usually what happened was an Alpha and his mate, the Luna, would step down from their positions once their eldest child was old enough and ready to take on the mantle. Part of being ready typically meant being mated, that way both wolves would have time to train for the role, physically and mentally. Clearly that wasn't the case here, and it wasn't always - the young Alphas in training had to take over early all the time. Our world was full of fighting and death - I knew that all too well. Alphas get killed sometimes too. Someone had to take over.

Sometimes if the new Alpha was too young, the Beta would take their place until they were deemed old enough. It's not like you could expect a 7 year old to lead a whole pack.

And Liam... his mother was dead, she had to have been the most recent Luna in this pack. His dad? I had no idea, there hadn't been a single mention of him from anyone. Nothing at all to indicate his presence, although Liam most likely inherited the house from him when he became Alpha? He must not be around anymore either, I supposed if he was anything like my own father then maybe he couldn't function without his mate. 

But... Liam's mum died in childbirth. Did he have any siblings, or did that mean she died when Liam himself was born? How long must he have been an Alpha for? I didn't even know how old he was. Older than me, I guessed, but not by much. There wasn't usually much of an age gap between mates, a couple of years at most. So, early twenties perhaps? Then what age was he forced to take on so much responsibility?