And Yet, You're Here (Arthur Havisham)

Chapter 10

Arthur and I braved the cold, making our way down the streets of the town we had found ourselves in. While it may have been unfamiliar to the likes of Arthur Havisham, it felt as though I could carve every piece of cobblestone in my mind, their unique, uneven settlement burnt deeply into the depths of my imagination. Arthur didn't speak for most of the journey, only looked upon the somber town with a dull sense of disinterest, and, if I could sense it correctly, a small twinge of fear. I met his gaze a few times, and his large eyes only conveyed one question to me-

'Where are we going?'

I didn't answer outright. Only gave him a small, assuring nod as I weaved and bobbed through the people slumping throughout the streets. I only stopped when we had come upon a shaded alley. Arthur froze, stepping back from it just a bit. Looking down the alley, it was easy to understand his apprehension. The walls of the alley seemed never-ending, closing in to a dark abyss the further he looked, only slightly illuminated by the ghostly overcast that hung over us.

"Bishop, where have you taken me?" He asked, his voice suggesting discomfort, but his eyes suggesting adamancy.

I didn't answer. I simply looked around, took hold of his gloved hand, and disappeared into the dark with him. I felt him jerk back for a moment, but he followed still, and as we made it through the dark and our eyes adjusted, I stopped.

Arthur looked around, his eyes finally falling on a faint, weathered carving within the brick of the building before us. He knelt down to get a closer look, his brow furrowed as he tried to make out the jagged script in the deep red stone. He stood back up, giving me a quizzical look.

"You took me all this way in the cold to show me..." He trailed off, glancing back down at the carving.

"You said I would never be able to comprehend the severity. Back at our room?"

He looked down, almost ashamed at the previous confession he had given. I took a breath chewing on my lip as I contemplated my own confession. I could still take him back to the room, suffer the snide comments and the annoyance, and move on with our plan. But I also knew I owed it to Arthur. Despite his sharp, cold nature, I now knew of its origin. I could no longer believe Arthur was born poisoned by apathy. He was simply born with a secret, one that weighed heavy upon his shoulders. One that kept him from truly enjoying the wonders around him in fear of retribution. One that I had known all too well.

"I ran to London, you know," I started, letting myself smile a bit sadly. "I met a boy named Tobias Barnaby back in my hometown. We'd have late-night meetings out by a little creek just a way away from our homes..We'd revel in each others' company, and laugh, and joke...And one day, he suggested we run. He and I had a plan, to run to London, find a place to live, good jobs to keep us afloat...and keep each other close."

Arthur's eyes didn't leave mine. He waited, for once, patient to hear what I had to say next. I continued.

"We thought we had it all figured out. We'd try to haggle with the few measly coins we were able to scrape up from our respective funds, stay in a little room together, taste freedom, work and come home and revel in each other like we did during our times at the creek." I could feel the sting of tears behind my eyes, and I tried to swallow the lump slowly growing in my throat. My voice strained around it.

"We ran, we braved the cold until we ended up here. It was our plan to continue our trek the next morning. For the days before we survived off of the bread we could steal from our homes and the whiskey we could take from our cabinets. We stopped here..We were supposed to keep going. And I held him close to me as he shivered so sharply that his body would jolt with each breath."

Arthur looked at me, his eyes slowly welling with tears. He tried his hardest to blink them away, taking a long breath before he spoke.

"Cecil, where is Tobias?" He asked quietly. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to tear them from the little engraving.

I finally spoke after a moment of stifling back a sob that threatened to rack my body in a great wave. "He succumbed to the cold." I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. Arthur shifted, his eyes trying to find something- anything else to focus on.

"You say I will never be able to understand the severity of your situation. But I ran to London with Tobias because I loved him, Arthur. God, I dreamt of falling into his arms every evening, taking in the small warmth of the fire while breathing deeply the warmth that engulfed me when he held me."

I looked at Arthur, whose face was turned to the opposite wall of the alley. I reached out, hesitating at first, but gently placing a hand on his cheek to guide his gaze toward me. He flinched slightly at the touch, but let me turn his head as his large eyes pooled with tears.

"We've found ourselves in a terrible situation, Arthur. But you are not alone in this. Whether you like it or not, I'm here for you. I understand where you may be and I've lived through the worst case scenario, and although you may see yourself as above me, or maybe even better, you and I both know that we are trapped just the same..."

His lip quivered, and he closed his eyes, a tear trailed down his flushed cheek and handed against my palm, which I quickly wiped away. He sighed and nodded, giving me a quiet apology through the quick sobs that trembled throughout his frame. He pulled away, looking back down at the carving on the brick.

I looked down upon it too, taking in the messily carved message. I felt Arthur's hand search for mine, and our fingers intertwined as we took in the solemn piece of art.

Just two initials, weathered away by time and rough seasons. "C+T, Onward."

—--

Arthur and I arrived back at our lodgings, sighing at the warmth of the room. Arthur, no doubt wracked by the emotional drain of the last day or so, collapsed into a soft chair by the fire. Between his confession and my own, I wasn't exactly surprised. I crawled into the bed and groaned quietly, lazily sliding off my coat and kicking my shoes off the bed, letting my head rest against the pillow. I lifted my head only to look at Arthur, who I could see shifting uncomfortably in the chair by the fire. He curled himself up, shifting here and there trying to get comfortable. I hesitated, before speaking.

"Arthur?"

"Yes?"

I sat up in the bed, sliding myself over to one side and spreading the blanket out to better cover both ends of the small bed. "It's much more comfortable here. Why don't you take the bed?"

"I'm fine." He replied quietly. I waited for a moment, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"I've seen you sleep, Arthur, you splay out wildly."

"I most certainly do not!" He cried, sitting up from the chair to shoot daggers my direction. I couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"You do!" I said back, smiling. "You splay out, and you snore, and you toss here and there, and you won't get that kind of sleep in that chair!"

He began to smile a bit, rolling his eyes. "I'm fine, Cecil. Please."

I stared for just a moment more, and Arthur sighed, defeated, sliding out of the chair and hesitantly sitting at the very edge of the bed. My heart raced, being in such close proximity to him. To be in such an intimate situation, to share a bed, to sleep beside one another and feel the warmth of ourselves slowly engulf us. It was almost too much to bear. I sensed his hesitation, and desperate to cause it to dissipate, I spoke. 

"Come, now, lay down. Are you afraid I'll bite?" I said, sliding over just slightly to allow him more room. He finally lay down, a look of relief washing over him as his body sunk into the mattress. "No," He said quietly, his eyes already struggling to stay open. I smiled softly and rolled over, my back facing him.

"Rest, Arthur." I said, closing my eyes. I felt the mattress shift on his side, and could have sworn I heard him say one last thing before sleep took over.

"Thank you, Cecil."