I walk past my classmates and teacher, practically running to the toilets or somewhere where he isn't bothering me. Somewhere where his touch doesn't leave an itch on my skin.
I don't hate him, I fear him.
He terrifies me.
What if he manages to refill the hole he left in me just to leave again?
Besides, it's not fair. I think I have the right to be mad. He hurt me before and is now ignoring it because he wants to go to how we were, but I told him no and he won't accept it.
Jisung won't respect my feelings and that's what makes me mad.
He should've ignored me last night. He should've ignored me now. He has no right to go sending stupid papers with stupid cute notes my way.
I lock myself inside a stall.
Those little notes weigh heavily inside the pocket of my purple sweater. I take them out and open the one I didn't read before.
'can we talk? (｡•́︿•̀｡) pretty please'
I roll my eyes and break the paper in little pieces, then I flash it down the toilet next to the first note.
"Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid." I mumble, kicking the wall softly enough that it doesn't hurt. He's getting to me. I'm stupid for allowing it.
I shouldn't have read the note. Now I want to cry again.
I'm tired of this usless emotions that keep bothering me with the urgre to bawl my eyes out ever since Jisung's name first came up in that conversation with Felix about the boy he had to guide through the school.
My eyes widen as I realize something.
Shit.
He's the one Felix is guiding. Han Jisung.
Shit, shit, shit.
I think I won the contest for the most unlucky person on earth.
I need to look for Felix and ask him what did the principal tell him exactly about how he should act around this new kid that is tormenting my life ever since he showed up.
I unlock the stall and run to my best friend's class.
When I reach it I'm out of breath. I knock thrice and open the door without waiting for an answer.
"Can I talk with my brother, please? The principal told me—"
I can't finish my sentence. Felix is already standing up. He probably saw how shaken I am. We close the door behind us.
His brown eyes scan me, looking for anything that can tell him what's wrong with me. "Are you okay?"
I nod, not giving my state any mind. "Did you meet the new kid?"
His expression hardens. "Yes." His tone is almost solemn. "I didn't know it was him, I would've warned you or refused—"
I shake my head. "No, no. It's okay. Do you have to do anything besides show him around?"
"I already did that."
"And do you have to do anything else?" there's urgency in my voice, noticable even if we're whispering.
He nods. "His best friend is in the school but he's always alone, so the principal told me to introduce them both to our group of friends." I make a face, I think. I very clearly dislike that idea. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it." I wave my hand to dismiss it. "It isn't your fault."
Felix hugs me close to his chest and I tense a little at first, but relax into his arms quickly.
After a second or two, I ruffle his hair and let go. "Go to back to class. I'll see you at lunch." I smile to let him know that he doesn't need to worry, that I'll be fine.
"Are you sure?"
I nod. Hesitantly, he turns around and goes back inside.
"Everything settled, boys?" the teacher asks. It's Mrs Choi. Right, Felix has history first on Mondays.
I bow. "Yes. Thank you and sorry for the disturbance."
The woman smiles and tells me that it's no problem. I close the door and go back to my own class.
When I enter, I feel Jisung's eyes on me.
Ugh, today's gonna be friggin long.
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