ADDICTION

ii. choice

• choice •

Riya looked at the small bottle in her hands as she spoke with three pairs of eyes trained at her.

"I actually have a drug addiction but it wasn't as severe" and took a deep breath "I am chainsmoker who started smoking at an age of seventeen, well I was a few months short of eighteen"

"There isn't a particular reason about why I started doing it. With smoking, I was given a cigratte one day and it began. I didn't think a second before I started doing it maybe because I saw my friends doing it. I was told by my friend not to do it as my lungs ruined well it was true but I didn't listen. My body, my choice that was my motto" and then corrected herself "well, it's still my motto. No one has a right to tell me but now I am more mature so I know what is good for me and what is not" The goan catholic woman said as she gulped another sip from her bottle. Abdul simply looked away whereas Nadira and Sartaj looked more curiously at her. The painting hanging on the wall in front of her was a replica or a copy of Claude Monet's ‘bridge over a pond of lilies’

"It soon became a habit and I started smoking more than three cigrattes a day which surely is unhealthy, obviously my parents didn't knew. As for drugs, I choose to do them myself because I wanted to try and know what it felt like whether people risking their lives was worth it or not. I tried and liked it, so it continued and almost a year later"

"It became quite clear to me that this had to stop but I didn't knew how to because I couldn't survive without drugs. At first, I tired to do it but failed and the last option was to seek help. So, I told my parents about it" and stopped for a moment, well it was quite clear to everyone that Riya had choosen her own path and perhaps, she had been more open and accepting of her own faults then, anyone ever was.

"You told your parents? They didn't get to know it through something else" Abdul asked her, as she toyed with the ends of her skirt.

"Were you not scared of them?" Sartaj asked her, he remembered how scared he was when his mother learned about his addiction.

"Well, yes. I was scared to tell them but I knew the only people who could help me in this were them. I made a mistake and regretted it because for a few moments of fake bliss i couldn't sacrifice my entire life, or my parents for that matter. So I told them, zyada zyada se zyada kya karte chata mar dete thodi din baat nahi karte par madat bhi toh wahi karte" Riya said with glassy eyes as she remembered telling her parents and their reaction.

"What happened after that?"

"They didn't believed it when I told them at first, they started laughing thinking I was joking but when I didn't. They were heartbroken, disappointed and angry. Amma, slapped me which I deserved whereas appa didn't talked to me for three days and finally, it all settled down. Appa, came up to me on the third day with a list of rehabilitation centres and a counsellor, which we had to visit and we did. That's how I landed here." Riya finished and fiddled with ends of her skirt. A silence descended as none of them knew what to say to her it was clear she fucked up but it was still weird to say anything empathetic to her. The silence was broken by Abdul laughing and all of them looked at him strangely.

"Why are you laughing?" Riya asked angrily, thinking that man was laughing at her.

"My mother beat me up with a stick because I accidentally broke my sister's toy and you only received a slap for this. I expected a lot more. I am sorry for saying this" Abdul said trying to suppress his laugh, his light hearted words made Sartaj and Nadira suppress a smile of their own because of Riya not wanting to offend her. But when the girl herself chuckled at the words, they smiled too.