TW: Self Harm
May 4th, 2015
Y/N's POV
"Here," Clint handed me a glass of water and a pill.
I didn't bother looking up at him. "I'm not taking any drugs."
"They're not drugs." Natasha said sitting down on the couch next to me.
"It's just a sleeping pill, it'll help calm you down." Clint added.
I shook my head. "I'm not taking it, you can't force me if I don't want to."
Clint and Nat just exchanged glances, silently speaking with their eyes.
"Alright." Clint said walking away and outside.
There was a long silence in the room, I wasn't speaking, and neither was Natasha.
"Y/N-"
"Just....don't....okay?" I push her away and hug my knees on the couch, staring at the floor.
Natasha's POV
I don't know what to do anymore.
I truly don't.
Why do I keep pretending? Pretending everything's okay. Pretending I'm not hurting. Pretending I'm not just as mentally Fucked up in the head as her.
I shut the bedroom door.
Everything was spinning.
The room...
The swaying of my body I couldn't control, as if I was loosing balance.
I can't control anything anymore.
Nothing.
I deserve to be hurt.
Everything that happened in the red room....
I deserved it all....
I spotted a knife sitting on the dresser.
Y/N's blade.
I picked it up and without hesitation, allowing the sharp edge to dig into my skin, dig into all the mental and physical wounds I carried, letting it all bleed out peacefully.
Each mark...
Was for...
Every time I was raped by him.
Every time I was yelled at.
Every time I was hit.
Every time I hurt Y/N.
I made one deep cut on my arm, right under my elbow.
That was for leaving Y/N all those years ago.
I could have gone back.
I shouldn't have run.
Why did I run?
The maroon liquid dropped down my arm, down my wrists, dripping onto the carpet below.
For a moment...just a moment I feel peaceful...
My life is finally in control...
Then reality kicks in.
I've never had any control...
The blade slipped from my hands, rattling on the hard floor.
"Why am I not good enough?" I sobbed falling to my knees, wiping my tears on my face with my bloody hands. "I can't do anything right!" I cried out.
YOU ARE READING
The Girl Next Door
FanfictionY/N L/N, was an 11 year old girl who lived in Mount Vernon, Ohio. Her life was somewhat normal, she went to the Red Room Academy from 3 years old to 8 years old, and when she was 8 she was sent on a stealth mission with Alexei Shostakov, known as th...
