(Agent 4 is referred to with They/Them pronouns so the reader can imagine them as their own customized version of Agent 4!)
Welcome to the Memverse!
In a colorless world of order, Agent 8 and their team destroyed Order itself and reduced it down to...
"Hold on," H4CKER interrupted, causing Agent 4 to stop their monologue. "...You guys have an Agent 1. An Agent 2. An Agent 3. An Agent 4 - and then you skipped to 8 and went back to 3?"
...Agent 4 nodded.
"...This Cap'n Cuttlefish guy's pretty bad at math."
They laughed just a little bit, then quickly continued. They met the new Agent 3, who introduced them to Smallfry - or, Little Buddy, who they absolutely ADORED. And that was that!
"Wow. A lot went on for you in just a month," H4CKER stated, "The only interesting thing I did in the past month was...well, saving someone from a virtual reality."
Yeah, again, that was probably a lot on a regular person.
"Can you believe that Marina's actually rebuilding the place, though? I mean, she even saved that Order thing. Why? Because it's cute?" He groaned. It seems he was more frustrated with the two idols than they initially thought... "Do me a favor, Agent 4. If you ever create a soul-stealing device...just shut it down."
...But, despite his current anger, Agent 4 just broke into a teasing smile. They couldn't help it! Because wasn't he the programmer who tried stealing assets from the soul stealing device?
He paused, then snickered. "...You got me there."
He took a sip of his coffee, and Agent 4 did the same. This meeting almost felt surreal to them after imagining it so many times in the memverse. It was weird that it actually came true - even if it were just a few days later. They looked at H4CKER, and he looked up from his muffin. "...What? Is there something on my face?"
Agent 4 shook their head. After all that happened, after everything they went through, and after everything he did for them, they almost forgot the most important thing they could do. "...Thank you," they said. "D'aww, it was nothing. Anything for a friend! Even if that friend's part of a secret agency," he teased, "Don't get me wrong here - New Squidbeak Splatoon's nice and all...but I like Team Four better," he teased. He held up four fingers on one of his hands, and Agent 4 gave two peace signs - adding up to four. It was like their thing, after all!
And over the next half hour, they talked and laughed and even shared some pretty deep stuff about their time in the memverse. It was hard for H4CKER to believe that the lively inkling in front of him was once a stiff, expressionless robot. And it was hard for Agent 4 to believe they befriended a borderline criminal - but who's to say?
But just like that, he seemed to realize something - the way his eyes lit up said it all. "Hey, Agent 4?"
They looked at him. What was it?
"...Heh, I know it's weird, but I just realized - we don't actually know each other's names, do we?"
Agent 4 blinked. That was right! They've just been referring to him as "H4CKER" - or, pronounced "Hacker" - this whole time! And he's just been referring to them as a number!
He gave a slight laugh. "Yeah, I guess we're kinda scatterbrained, huh? I guess...I should introduce myself then."
He smiled - it was a friendly, genuine smile - and then said, "My name's Cyrus. Nice to officially meet you."
Agent 4 paused for just a second, taking it in. It was almost strange to have another name for the face. But they quickly smiled and introduced themself by name as well.
"Huh," Cyrus said, "Y'know what? I can't explain it, but that really suits you." They could pretty much say the same for him! Regardless, they finished eating, and as the café became more crowded, it was time for them to go.
"Hey," Cyrus smiled on their way out. Agent 4's head perked up. "Wanna play a few rounds of Zones with me? Yknow, to watch a pro in action?" They snickered. Sure. "Sweet! Race ya there, then!"
And with that, he was off! Agent 4 gasped and followed behind. There was no way they'd let him win!
The sound of their laughter echoed through the Square, even with all the loud chatter.
They were finally free of the memverse. And Agent 4 never felt so alive.
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(Agent 4 (and Agent 8, for that matter) are meant to be imagined as your own playable character - I just used the amiibo to give them a little picture.)
(Usually I don't like to add authors notes at the end but in this case I feel like I have to. The ONLY reason I started writing this was because Agent 4 is my favorite splatoon character and it hurt my soul to watch everyone forget about them/insult them twice/not even recognize them in their own boss fight! The disrespect I swear- Anyway, the point is, I wrote this solely for myself. I didn't expect it to get ANY traction at all, so when it got just a few votes, I was really happy. But now it's getting comments and it's being added to libraries and I GENUINELY can't believe it. I am so, SO glad people liked this story as much as I liked writing it!
So thank you SO much for reading! I actually may or may not have had a small "sequel" in my mind for the past week but I make no promises-
-Aaand one last quick note, I've decided to write it! If you liked this then there's a second story currently being updated! Thank you for reading (again)! )
(NOTE AGAIN- ...It's been revealed today that the parallel canon wasn't actually Agent 4, but a "copy of Agent 4's data," so now we have to accept two things
• Agent 4 actually ran away once Order became sentient, never to return again
• Pearl was right. They WERE "supposed to be a big shot"
It also kind of kills the fanfic, but I'm gonna keep writing the sequel anyway because I really like writing it regardless. Can't stay salty too long after all, and goodbye!)
