"I know. But I can't tell her things I would normally."
Jacob's eyebrows raised, leaning back a bit. "Like what?"
"Nah, you'll just tell her."
"Elsie, that would be a conflict of interest. I don't tell anyone anything my clients say unless they're in immediate danger to themselves or others. Everything is confidential. Even if your mother is a friend of mine and my former boss, I'm not telling her anything. Everything you say here today is confidential."
Elsie sighed, taking her hands out of her pocket and running one through her hair. "I'm asexual. Don't like girls, don't like boys, anyone. My Ma knows, my friends know, my brother knows. Not Mam. I can't burden her with that because she'll just try to help me with it, when she's the one who needs all the help at the moment."
"Just because your mother is sick, it doesn't mean you don't still need help. That's why you're here today. They want to help, but they can't do that if you're running away and acting out instead of talking with them. I know how you feel about talking, but it's the only way for you all to be on the same page."
"Yeah, I know. But what if she's upset that she won't get to see me get a partner, even if she was going to live?"
Jacob snorted. "I don't think she really cares about that. She just wants you to be happy."
"How can I be happy when I can't love anyone?"
Jacob furrowed his eyebrows, observing the slump in Elsie's shoulders when she asked that question. "Is this what this is all about? You don't think you can love?"
Elsie began to tear up a bit, but wiped her eyes. "Maybe, yeah. I'm surrounded by people who can love. Why can't I?"
"Romantic love isn't the only kind of love. And it's not always as perfect as what your parents have. It can be painful. You don't have to date someone to love them. You love your family, your friends. You can love. Just because you don't experience attraction doesn't mean you can't love. Not everyone gets married or even dates in their lifetime, even people who do experience attraction. You can still have a full and satisfying life without having a partner. You have family and friends to share all of that with. There's too much emphasis placed on romantic relationships, especially when you're a teenager, that the fulfilling relationships you do have are often sidelined."
Elsie nodded. "Yeah, that's true. I'll tell her. But when I'm ready."
"Yeah, of course. You can still do things at your own pace." He looked down at his watch. "I'm really sorry, but I have another appointment now. You can swing by the dojang on Friday if you'd like, it's on the third floor."
"I'll think about it. Thanks for this, Jacob."
💛
Elsie walked back into the house slowly, closing the door behind her after handing the weed she borrowed from her new friend Tori, who she met at the party. She was actually very understanding of Elsie's reasons; that she had to stop running, and that she might come out for a drink when she's doing better. She put her coat on the hanger, being shook by the silence in the house. Her mother was in a meeting with the Committee, discussing how they'd cut down the 348 applications they received for the role. Max was out shopping, and Brook wouldn't be in town until the next day because her train was delayed. Zoë was usually up and about on a day off, but she was sleeping a lot lately. While it disturbed everyone, Katie and Billy had joked that it was her making up for all the years she didn't take a break or stayed up all night sorting out files and checking on patients she was worried about.
Elsie walked into her parents bedroom, seeing that her mother was awake but just gazing out of the window. She redirected her sight to her daughter, smiling. "Hey."
