It's a pity, isn't it?

⋆ SEVEN ⋆

I couldn't bring myself to go to dinner. After hugging Theo and Pansy for what felt like an hour I was emotionally drained that the thought of leaving Ravenclaw tower made me sick. 

They left for dinner a little while ago. I came out of my room to tell everyone I was fine but would rather stay in tonight. They all smiled, saying they would see me tomorrow, and as they began to walk to the door a certain blonde haired boy was walking in. His knuckles now matched those of Blaise and Theo; bruised and red, Draco's covered in a concerning amount of fresh blood. We made eye contact for no longer than a second, neither of us smiled, let alone moved. But we looked at each other, we saw each other. 

As they all left I went back into my dorm and gathered my things for the shower, and that brings me to right now; Standing under the hot shower, letting the hot steam encapsulate my body. I wash every inch of myself, scrubbing so hard my skin is red and patchy. 

A feeling of lethargy begins to consume me as I lean on the cold shower wall. My hand seems to have a mind of its own as it slides over my body, resting on my chest before sliding between my legs. 

I capture a moan in my throat before it gets the chance to sound. I move my hand quicker, longing for a release I didn't know I had been waiting for. My breath becomes heaver and my muscles begin to tense, God I missed this feeling. 

I melt into the wall, reaching with my other hand for any sort of stability, but I am left dizzy and frantic with nothing to hold on to. My mind begins to drift into messy thoughts, when I close my eyes I can see a man, nameless and faceless. It's his hand between my legs, not mine. I lean on him for support, grasping onto his arm as I succumb to the all consuming pleasure. He holds me up, wrapping his arms around me as I loose all control over my body. I wish he was real.

I waste no time cleaning myself up and exiting the shower. I usually try restrain myself from letting my thoughts get the best of me but I didn't have that sort of strength today. 

Slipping into my favourite pair of pale blue short and a grey tank top I can't help but reach for Connors hoodie. I bundle the soft fabric in my hands, embracing it's sent and basking in the feeling it brings me. I put the jumper on, gathering all my homework for the night and finding a secluded space in the already empty common room to get my work done. 

I enjoy having time to myself, and I enjoy it more when I am alone to admire the beautiful common room that is usually bustling with people. Bella jumps out from around a corner, purring as she gets comfortable in my lap. I wish I knew what this cat got up to during the day but it really is beyond me.

I fall into a state of comfortable productivity, completing all my work to the best of my ability. Over an hour has passed since dinner began but I dont expect to see anyone here for a while, people tend to take their time when delicious food keeps appearing infront of them. I think I can finish all of my work before a single soul walks into the common room, all I've got left to do is read a few pages of my history of magic book. 

I tend to get lost in the pages of books, completely transported into different worlds. Even with a book I have to read for class I find myself completely consumed by the writing. Though this isn't always a good thing, as my interest in the book has stopped me from noticing someone walking into the common room. 

I also am yet to notice that he is standing directly behind me. That is, until he speaks. 

"Nice jumper" I jump in reaction to his presence, slamming my book down on the table, causing Bella to jump out of my lap and scurry away. The coward. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" He laughs, taking the seat beside me on the small desk I am sitting at. 

"No I'm sorry, that was dramatic" I cringe imagining the face I made when he first spoke. It probably looked like I just shat my pants. I can feel my ears glowing bright read as embarrassment begins to consume me, quickly I untuck the hair from behind my ears. Praying he doesn't realise the effect he has on me.