Glimpse Of Us | JEGULUS

12 | i know that you're waiting for me like a dog

"I told you lot a million times, I don't remember!" James huffed in exasperation. He was still in the infirmary per Pomfrey's orders and the boys were with him every second they got. Every second.

"Hey! We just want to know who we need to go after," Sirius pointed out. "Even if it's my brother."

"And I told you that I know that it wasn't him or Bellatrix," he countered. "They were the only ones I could see."

"Your memory could be jumbled," Sirius pointed out and Remus whacked him on the arm. "Alright, Prongs, we'll be back later. We have to get to class before Remus kills us."

"I'll see you later," he said, "And please, don't do anything stupid."

Sirius put his hands up in surrender, "l solemnly swear."

James turned to Remus, "Please, keep him out of trouble."

"I'll do my best."

Once the boys left, James fell back against his bed in relief. In truth, he felt significantly better. The aftershocks had stopped a few days ago and it didn't hurt when he moved or when he was touched. He just wanted everything to go back to normal.

"James," someone said and he was pulled from his thoughts. He looked up to find Regulus standing at the foot of his bed. "How are you feeling?" He shook his head, "Sorry, stupid question."

"What are you doing here?" James asked, sitting up a bit. Regulus's hand fell, landing on the boy's foot. He immediately pulled his hand away and James watched him, confused, "What is this? Are you doing recon for your cousin?"

"What?" he asked in bewilderment. "No, of course not!" James raised an eyebrow, waiting for some sort of explanation. "I have a headache."

Now it was James's turn to be confused, "What?"

"I have a headache," he repeated, shaking his head, "Or that's what I told Slughorn. And now Pomfrey."

"So you don't have a headache?"

"No?" he answered though it came out as more of a question than anything else. "I might have one now though, if I'm being honest. But that's not why I'm here. I wanted to check on you. Me, not anyone else."

"Why?" James asked and something flickered in Regulus's expression. Normally, the boy would let it go, but not this time. Not anymore.

"Because I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Don't do that," he requested, "Don't talk in circles. Just talk to me. Please. You owe me that much."

Regulus's hand moved back to James' leg and he squeezed, "I was worried that you wouldn't recover." James eyebrows pinched together as he listened to the boy. The Slytherin's sight was set anywhere other than him. "I - I thought that I wouldn't get to talk to you again. Not as you, anyway. And I-" his voice broke slightly. "I'm sorry, James. For everything. I should have let you go in the room. They never would have found you. And I shouldn't have taken advantage of you over the summer. It wasn't fair to you. I knew what I was getting into, you didn't."

"Hang on," James shook his head, sitting up more, "Is that what you think happened? That you took advantage of me?" Regulus slowly nodded. "Look, I may not have had much experience but I knew what I was doing. Granted, I knew it was stupid and I chose to do it anyway. That was my choice, our choice."

"I've been thinking about what you said," he admitted. "And I-"

"No."

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"No, I take it back."

"You can't just take it back, that's not how it works."

"It is now."

Regulus' face was contorted in confusion, "I'm pretty confident that what you are saying now doesn't change what you said."

"Then I'll learn how to Obliviate you."

"You're delusional."

"Hey! I'm a pretty talented wizard, if you haven't noticed," he narrowed his eyes. "If I wanted to, I could learn it. I've just never had the need."

"That's not what I meant," he shook his head. "You are not that type of person. You wouldn't take my memories away, not if I didn't want you to."

"How would you know?" he asked. "You hardly know me outside of the fact that I'm the one to blame for your brother leaving your family."

Regulus let out a sigh, "I was kind of hoping you didn't remember that part."

"They were all shocked when my memory was mostly intact." James's hand was balled up in a fist as he hit it against his leg. "Look, I understand. I don't agree, but I can see why you are the way you are. Mostly." Regulus opened his mouth to say something but he shook his head. "If I'm being honest, I thought you would do it."

His eyes widened at this, "What? I wouldn't - I couldn't - I-"

"Reggie, let me finish," he requested and Regulus's mouth clamped shut. "I thought you would do it. Given that the last time I had seen you, I had suggested that maybe you didn't need to do what you were doing or be the person your parents want you to be. Bellatrix was right, in a way. I did tear your family apart, even if it wasn't on purpose. So when you sent Rosier to get my friends - to get your brother and you told her no, I didn't know what to think." He frowned, "I still don't know what to think."

"I would never hurt you, James, not on purpose," he explained as he moved to the side of his bed. "I don't think I could ever hurt you, no matter what the consequences. And yes, things are complicated but I don't want you to take back what you said. Please, don't take it back. I just need time. Patience. But only if you're willing." Regulus placed his hand over James's, to stop him from hitting it against his leg, "And for the record, I want you to be willing."

James opened his mouth to speak but someone beat him to it. "Hey, James," Remus spoke up as he entered through the curtains. Regulus immediately took a step away from the bed, "I forgot to-" He stopped in his tracks, looking between James and Regulus. He looked at James, "What is he doing here?

"Er-" James began but Regulus spoke up, saving James from rambling.

"I have a headache," he said quickly and he leaned against the table next to James's bed. "I'm waiting for Pomfrey to return and I heard him. Figured I'd see how he was doing."

Remus narrowed his eyes, "What do you care? Isn't this what you wanted?"

James turned to look at Regulus expectantly and the Slytherin hesitated. James shook his head in defeat and leaned back. "No, I didn't want this," he said quickly and James looked up. "I never wanted this."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"No," he answered, "But you're not the one who needs to believe that." His gaze flickered to James but he quickly looked away. "I'll leave you two. My headache went away on its own."

Remus watched skeptically as the boy left the room. He turned to look at James who was lying in bed still, "What was that about?"

James hesitated, "Like he said, he had a headache."

Remus didn't believe this but let it go, "I meant to give this to you this morning but I left it behind. We're in between classes so I figured I'd drop it off real quick."

"Thanks, Moony, I appreciate it," James said as he took the packet of school work he had missed out on. "I'll see you at lunch?"

"We'll be here," he said as he made his way to leave. He stopped for a moment, "Hey, James?"

"Hmm?"

"Be careful, okay?" he requested and James looked up at this. "Don't do anything stupid."

"When have I ever done anything stupid?"