KOTLC Sokeefe One-Shots, Alternate Endings, etc

A Good Dad (Keefe POV)

What had happened to Keefe's finely honed ability to keep his feelings from showing on his face? No matter what he was feeling inside, Fitz shouldn't have been able to tell.

"It's nothing," Keefe insisted. "It's not a big deal."

Fitz just kept staring.

"What?" Keefe asked, somewhat defensively.

Fitz sighed. "If you don't want to talk about it, I won't push," he said quietly. "But I will remind you that you hid the hard things from me for years because you didn't want me to know. And that was fine. It was what you needed at the time. But these last few years you've finally started to let me in, and I hope you know I appreciate the trust. So if and when you ever need to talk, just know...I'm here. You don't have to go back to being the guy who hides everything behind a joke. The guy who came to me and stayed up all night working through his anger after having a huge fight with his dad? That guy is always welcome."

Keefe deeply appreciated that. Fitz was telling him it was okay to confide in him, okay to ask for help or advice, but also okay to choose to keep it to himself.

He looked up toward the house, thinking about his beautiful wife and the precious daughter slowly being knit together inside her.

He wanted to talk about it.

But he'd barely been able to open up to Sophie about it yet, and he could usually tell her anything. But he felt like voicing this concern would make it more tangible, more likely to be true.

But he also knew he was probably being irrational.

So he took a deep breath and turned back to Fitz.

"The thing is...I'm worried about being a good dad. I..." he dragged a hand down his face. "I'm afraid I'm going to be like my dad."

There was a beat of silence as Fitz took that in.

"Listen," Fitz said after a second. "I've known you for years. You've been my best friend for years. Do you really think we'd have become friends if you were anything like your dad? Does he even have close friendships? Did he and your mom ever love each other the way you and Sophie do?"

"But--"

"Do you think your dad hailed his friends crying tears of joy when he found out your mom was pregnant, like you did a few weeks ago?" Fitz continued. "I promise you, Keefe, you are nothing like your father."

"I think...I'm more like him than you know." Keefe barely got the words out.

"How so?"

"Do you remember me telling you about the first time Sophie and I had a fight?"

Fitz nodded. "You didn't give me details, but I remember you telling me that you made up quickly and everything was fine."

"It was," Keefe admitted. "But it made me realize something. And then...the few arguments we've had...I've noticed it again. I...I got angry and I was so quick to find the most painful things possible to say, and then say them." He sighed. "I attacked her directly where I knew she was weak, where she was vulnerable. I intentionally took information that I knew she was sensitive about, and used it against her. I hoped it was just an anomaly, but I've acted that way in other arguments too. And we rarely fight, but still. Don't you see? This means that I'm more like my father than I thought. How much more of that will come out when I'm a parent?"

Fitz nodded in understanding. "I can see why that would worry you, he said slowly. "But the thing is...all you ever saw was the way your awful parents behaved in an awful manner. What you didn't see is that amazing people also behave awfully sometimes too. It's just part of it. That's how fights happen—we say things we don't fully mean, or say them with an attitude we shouldn't have."