Love Encyclopedia For The Gays (boyxboy, girlxgirl)

8 - Guilt and Love

The elevator ride was silent. I was burning with so much jealousy that I couldn't even put them into words. I just wanted to scream.

Aileen noticed this and lead me into the kitchen as soon as the doors opened. While I simmered in one corner, she went out to find me a cushion.

Finally, she found a grey one and gave it to me. I screamed into it, tasting the fabric and all.

"Oh my god. Oh. My. God. Can't Harry get any more obnoxious? You have to see the way he gloated at me while Adam or whoever complimented him. He definitely sees me as below him. God, I hate him!" I ranted to Aileen. My voice was watery and cracked a few times, but I didn't care, there was no one here but us.

"Let it out, let it all out, Duong. We all know Harry sucks." Aileen patted my back. She had settled on a black metal stool that made soothing creaking noises when she rocked back and forth on it.

I covered my face with my hands to hide the tears streaming down my cheeks. It wasn't that I had anything against crying, I just didn't want to cry because of Harry. When too much tear flowed again and I started wetting the pillow, my best friend was quick to hand me a swath of paper towels. 

I wiped my face and the cushion, feeling both lighter and more pathetic. My voice shrunk to tired mumbles.

"I don't think the people downstairs think he sucks though. I should have just stayed home tonight. That way he can't humiliate me like this." 

Aileen nodded and handed me more paper towels, while I passed her the damp balls so she could toss them in the trash. 

"Urgh. I can't believe I went to this freaking party because he said he was going to get cupcakes and let me choose the pizza flavor, like a freaking child."

The stool's creaking stopped. "Oh. That explains the Diana's boxes on the counter. Can you give me a second, D?"

I nodded. While she did whatever she needed to do, I pulled out my phone to see how I looked. My eyes were thankfully not red, but my face pretty much glistened with tears. 

"So, at least half the pizzas are prosciutto and seafood flavors."

"That's awesome, A." I muttered tiredly.

"It is. Which solidified my conclusion on a certain subject, not that it wasn't already concrete before. It's just more concrete now, like I don't know, bedrock?"

I turned to her, not understanding what she's on about. Aileen stared back at me and started drumming her fingers on the counter in uncertainty.

"Donttakethisthewrongwaybut... I don't think Harry means it that way, Dale. Like, he didn't mean for you to feel this way about the party."

"Thanks Aileen, but I really think he means it that way." I sniffed. "You had to see his face like I did. He was totally making fun of me."

Aileen's eyebrows pinched. Her hand fell to her side. "Duong, can I tell you something?"

"Depends." I exhaled wetly. "Please don't tell me I'm projecting and he actually invited us out of the goodness of his heart or something."

"You're close." She gave me finger-guns and a wink.

I groaned, burying my face in the cushion again.

"Not that close!" 

Warily, I peeled my face from the velvety surface to look at her.

My best friend took a deep breath "Okay, so I think that-"

"Hey guys, do you know where the toilet is?"