Paper Hearts || Krii7y

18. I Just Need You

The route towards Jonathan's house took him through the park. The place was different in the dark. There were occasional lamps along the path but their light didn't feel welcoming. Jaren looked up while he passed under one of them. It flickered rhythmically. His eyes caught the darkened silhouettes of the willows on the far side. Their leaves swayed slowly, obscuring the trunks.

John had kissed him under there.

Nothing about their friendship before that had made Jaren think John liked him too. He'd hardly even known himself if he liked John. They were just two confused boys who'd found each other.

But as he tried to convince himself of that fact, other less favourable memories started to resurface. The slight comments by John's friends. John walking away from them whenever he called Jaren, like he'd overhear something he wasn't meant to. Were they just teasing John about him, or was it something worse?

His breathing was becoming faster-paced like he was running out of oxygen. He kept cycling but concentrated on his breathing. In through his nose, out through his mouth. He forced his lungs to slow down and process the cold air entering them. As his breathing slowed fractionally, he found himself close by Jonathan's house. He paid more attention to which turns he had to take now.

Jonathan's house came into view. He knew it was his because he saw Luke sitting on the porch. He watched Jaren as he approached.

"Hey man, didn't think you'd show."

"Is John here?" Jaren managed to say as he dumped his bike on the lawn.

"Keyes? Yeah, somewhere inside. Take it easy in there," Luke offered with a tired smile. "I've had enough. I'm headed home. See you around."

He walked inside as Luke left, the music not helping the headache gripping his temples. He almost regretted being here but he needed John. He walked around, looking at unfamiliar faces, until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You came!" Jonathan grinned at him. It fell when he took in the expression on Jaren's face. "Are you looking for John?"

Jaren nodded.

"He's upstairs, I think. Are you okay?"

He nodded again and slipped past Jonathan to walk up the stairs. Sure enough, in the almost vacant hallway, was John. He was leaning against the wall as he scrolled on his phone, oblivious to Jaren.

Just the sight of him set off tears Jaren didn't know he was holding back. They started as silent streams down his face until a sob broke through.

John looked up at that sound and was beside him in a flash.

"Jaren? What are you doing here?" Concern filled his face.

Jaren's instincts took over and he found himself buckling into John's arms.

"Oh my God, Ren. What happened?"

Jaren just cried, his legs feeling like they were going to give way. John's arms wound around him gently.

"Jaren, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I just need you," he cried.

"Let's go in Jonathan's room. He won't mind." John shut the door behind them as Jaren collapsed onto the bed, holding his arms around himself. John came to sit beside him and wrapped one arm instinctively around his shoulder.

"What happened, Ren?"

"Ryan came over, right after you left," he whispered. "He... he said some things. I just needed to see you."

"What did he say?"

"Some bullshit about you and your friends." He wiped his eyes with a sleeve and sniffed.