⚊The Hatchet To Hell⚊

Pills. Pills. Pills.

(cw: more gross things!! + I recommend listening to “Nocturne in C-Sharp Minor, KK IVa No.16 - Frédéric Chopin” as you read).

[sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ/ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴅʏʟᴀɴ's ᴍɪɴᴅ]
2/14/2024

“So... you've been hallucinating? How long has this been going on for?”

“A while.” I responded. I'm at another doctor's appointment. He's just telling me things I already know so this is pointless. Although, I may be able to get some more meds. I haven't been on them for a short while.

“Well, uh, I assume you've still been taking your medication? I wouldn't have thought you'd be one to stay off it, haha.”

'Haha'. What does that even mean? Why is he amused by this? I don't think anything about this is funny or entertaining. Quite frankly, I find it excruciatingly boring.

“Yes I have been. Don't worry, I take them everyday. As I have for years now.” He checks off something on his clipboard as I speak. What's on there? What does he write about me?

“Good! Good. I'm glad.” He scribbles something else on some paperwork, I'm not sure what kind though. His expression changes to one of concern and he looks at me for a split second before returning his gaze to his clipboard. What was that about?

“Well, from these papers, your medications should be, uh, stopping you from hallucinating. You have been taking them for a while though so maybe you need a higher dosage? I wouldn't recommend this to just anyone, but uh, but you're... a special case, Mr Miller.”

What was that pause? Why was that necessary? Am I a special case? Why is that? How am I special? Is it bad or is it good? God, so many questions.

“I wouldn't be against that. My sleeping pills don't work anymore either. I need a higher dose for those as well, Dr Green,” I reply. Yes, I feel bad for lying to him and I know it's not very good to lie to your doctor but... I need to get rid of these hallucinations one way or another. It's been about a month now that they've been in my house. I only take my sleeping pills nowadays and that helps me ignore them. They don't work very well though. I keep waking up in the early hours and I see Daniel sitting at the end of my bed, just staring. They always just stare. I refuse to take the other pills so they've been sat in my kitchen cupboard next to the first aid kit I keep in there. I don't want to look at them.

“Oh, uh... really? I wouldn't recommend that for you, you'll sleep for far too long and that wouldn't be very practical.” Hm. Great. What can I do now? Dr Green had seemingly noticed my frustration and started talking again.

“B-but, uh, I can up your dose for you if you really, truly, believe that you need it? I can do that for you.” There we go. He's such a nice man. Maybe too nice for his own liking, but I can use that to my advantage. Which is very useful.

“That'd be much appreciated, thank you.” As I say this, he smiles at me and goes on his computer to sort it out or something. I don't understand hospital technology at all, it's too complicated.
“You're on Quviviq, if I'm not mistaken? We can up that to 50 mg, and if that still doesn't work very well, we can, uh, try out some other pills. Is that alright?” It's perfect. I nod in response and he very swiftly wrote me a prescription.

[ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ]
I got my prescription. I can try out the new dosage tonight. Soon hopefully. I will admit, I am accustomed to the twelve people bleeding out in my house but the staring still freaks me out so I try sleep as much as I can. I have also discovered that the blood isn't real (well, obviously. They aren't real either haha) so I don't need to be worried about cleaning the floors or anything. I'm glad that 1, it isn't real and 2, that I don't have carpeted floors. If I had those then discovering the blood was fake would've been very difficult. Anyway, I'm on my couch right now and I might try have a nap? I'm not sure how long this will make me sleep for but we'll see? I'll take one right now and we'll see when I wake up. It's 2:47pm right now so hopefully this kicks in quite quickly.