the memory i have of you -

memory one

when i first saw you, we were in first grade.
you were tall and lanky and i was short and petite.

i always looked for you in every part of the day because you were the most intriguing person to me.

weeks went by and i told my mother that you were cute.
she just rolled her eyes and told me i was too young to fall in love.

———

towards the end of the school year you made a point of walking right up to me,

"hello, you look at me a lot," you pointed out.

my eyes averted and i suddenly found the ground the most interesting thing to look at.

"sorry," i replied, it wasn't much but you made me nervous and direct confrontation wasn't something i was comfortable with.

"it's ok. but this just means we need to be friends now," you told me as you brushed the hair out of your eyes and gave me a look.

i couldn't tell if you were mocking me or being serious.

i looked up and met your green eyes with my brown ones.

"hm, okay sure" i responded in a hesitant voice.

you flashed me a grin, one of those heartwarming ones, and then ran away from me.

you ran the length of the playground until you found your friends and i was a memory in the back of your mind.

i closed my eyes drinking in the sunlight and warm weather while i waited to for recess to end.

———

after mrs. nelson helped me put my backpack on i chose to walk very slowly to the bus.

i didn't want to go home, not yet. my parents were good people but i was an only child. as much as i was okay with being alone, i was also lonely. in first grade i started to notice the loneliness more, but i didn't know how to change it.
you pulled on my ponytail as we were walking out to the bus until mrs. nelson scolded you. you quickly put your hands back to your sides and gave our teacher an innocent smile.

everyone loved you because you were everything, respectful, playful, a jokester, sweet, caring, and honest.

i was your polar opposite both in personality and in looks.

you had honey golden hair, a smile that would melt even the coldest of hearts, and the greenest eyes i'd ever seen.

i, on the other hand, was made up of dark black hair and midnight brown eyes, an imperfect smile, and a pessimistic outlook that was sure to ruin everyone's day.

in a strange way you were everything i wanted to be, and perhaps that's what attracted me to you.

i giggled at our teacher's dismissive smile, and after that day i knew you would be a factor in my life, a force to be reckoned with. someone solid and tangible that i would be able to hang on to.