The Diary of Will

The Autumn Comes

The breeze shifts as Will walks to his job at the local convenience store. He feels the wind and the chilly autumn temperatures, and he sees Ms. Alena walk past with her golden retriever, Biscuit.

Maybe he'll just call out of work today. He just wants to enjoy the weather without feeling rushed.

He takes out the journal his therapist gave him,
"I want you to start keeping a diary of sorts. Write about your day or about how you're feeling."

He hesitates before bringing his lucky pen out of his jacket pocket.

Who would he even write to? He can't say 'Dear Diary'. It sounds too cliche. Maybe he could write to his childhood cat. Will had always loved her cuddles.

At least, that's what his dad always told him.

Dear Marcy,

Today hasn't been as bad as the previous days this week. I still feel a little detached.
Is it sad I can't remember a time when I didn't have this feeling? Of emptiness. Of separation.

I like to think there was a time I was truly happy, but I feel like that was taken from me long before I knew how to multiply numbers.

Dad says he's been worried about me, but he shouldn't waste his time for my feelings. After all, they don't really matter.
It's fine, really.

Today is nice. The leaves are starting to change to my favorite shade of orange. People in school used to think it was weird to like the color orange.

I'm still not sure why.

Well, I should probably call out of work today. I just want to be able to enjoy the weather.

Your friend,
Will

Will set down his journal and called his supervisor,
"Gray Emerson, here."

"Hey, Mr. Emerson. There's been a bit of a mishap, and I won't be able to make it into work. Sorry for the late notice."

Emerson's gruff voice answered, "Forte, how many times do I have to tell you that you can text me with the personal number I gave you?"

"Sorry, sir."

"No worries, boy!", Emerson chuckled, "Just make sure you stay safe, alright? See you in tomorrow for your four hour night shift."

"Yes, Mr. Emerson.", Will nodded as if the other man could see him. The call dropped and Will set off towards his apartment.

Some days, Will felt like he wasn't really there. It felt as if he was walking in a dream, detached from the world around him.

His therapist called it, "derealization", saying that it was often a coping mechanism for when things were too stressful for the person to handle mentally, and sometimes can be considered a disorder if it's a consistent occurrence.

It made him feel out of place, like no one else was really there even if they were right in front of him.

Will hadn't even realized he had made it to his apartment complex, but he went on autopilot up the stairs to the third floor.

His neighbor, Camdyn, was just leaving.

"Hey, Willy! You're back early!"

He turned around and felt a smile form, "Called out of work today. I just...wanted to enjoy the weather for a while."

They smiled, "It is a very nice day. Well, I have to head downstairs and start manning the cafe! See you later!"

Will waved as he set his keys in the bowl by the front door and laid down on the couch.

He needed to do the dishes in the sink, but he couldn't find the energy to get up.

Will's eyes fluttered shut as he drifted off to sleep.