Leave Before You Love Me

HEART

So there she was, alone in her hotel room, trying to finish a book that she promised herself she would catch up on. But first, she needed to call home and also at work. Hoping that Nalin will understand. She's willing to take a break from work just as long as she remains close to where Michelle is right now. With the hope in many hopes that the time will come for her to have a donor.

She and Maxine are texting nonstop, the sister sends her updates about Michelle while she isn't there to see her. Michelle's older sister had sent her a photo of Bella sitting beside her aunt with huge grins on both of their faces. At least she's slowly feeling better, her face isn't as pale the first time she had seen her.

Her phone rang once again, and it's her friend calling her back after a series of missed calls.

"Hey."

"Oh good, you're still alive! Where the hell are you? Everyone here has been bombarding me with questions about where you are and they look at me weirdly since I didn't know what to answer them when they knew we were close friends. So, where on earth are you?" silence. "Hello?"

Anntonia bites the inside of her cheek, trying to stop the tears from falling again. It's difficult to stop her from crying because everything still feels heavy. Michelle is still not okay, and their relationship, or lack thereof, is making her crazy. She sniffed, then another as silent tears fell again, God when will it stop?

"Hi. Sorry for calling you while you're at work."

Her friend on the other line could already sense that something was going on with her friend.

"What's going on? Dr. Sanchez is here taking over your patients, and she didn't want to tell me why. Did something happen? Did you quit?" she joked.

She smiled, one that still didn't reach her eyes.

"No, you can't get rid of me there yet. I just... I just needed a break for a few days?" She said in a questioning tone. "Or weeks, I don't know. I'm not sure, but I will come back. I just really need time to do something." She rasped, not bothering to wipe the liquid on her face.

"Is it about your bartender? Have you guys talked? Did she not want to be with you anymore? Well, if that's the case, it's her loss, not yours. I know she was the first one to confess her feelings, but if she's moved on, then you will have to accept that. If you're at home moping around because of your heartbreak, you could've just said so, I would've driven into your place so we could talk about it while drinking, you know? Maybe it's not really meant to be."

A light chuckle came out of her throat. "No, it's not that. Yes, my heart is in pieces and I just want to crumble down so it will be over, but I'm not sure if I can do it, Nalin. I'm scared to let her go, because what if she's it for me and what if I would never find another one like her?"

"Or maybe now is just not the right time yet for you to be together? Who knows, in the future, you'll find each other again. You know? Like in every hallmark film? Look, if you already told her how you feel and it's now her turn to push you away, then give her time. You guys are going to be okay. It's not like your paths won't cross again because of something, say like, she's terminally ill and she only has a few months to live, some shit like that. She will come back to you, trust me."

Her breath hitched, as another dagger pushed to pierce her already battered heart. She wanted to be angry about Nalin's morbidity and nonchalance, but her friend doesn't know about Michelle yet.

Ann can feel the heaviness on her chest, this time it's more prominent. Like it wants her to just drown for how much it hurts. She leaned back on the stacks of pillows behind her, trying to relax her mind. Calming herself down. She releases a shaky breath, swallowing another sob that wanted to be choked out of her.