Leave Before You Love Me

ALREADY GONE

A few days earlier..

It was expected. She knew that this would happen, but although she had a feeling that Anntonia might not reciprocate her feelings for her, it still hurt. It hits where it should because it was really her fault in the first place; she was the one who told the doctor, in total arrogance if she might add, to not fall in love with her. What Michelle thought would be a hard thing to do became relatively easy, the bartender has fallen in love with her without even expecting it.

Her heart breaks, as it should. When all the heat in the room slowly dissipates, leaving her cold and so alone. She should be used to it by now, but she's different. Or maybe she was just thinking about it that way because it's probably the last time she's going to love someone, not by choice, but by circumstances.

She could feel it, her body becoming weaker as her heart started collapsing. But her stubbornness is something that her family couldn't control, she hoped to live in the City by herself and obviously her parents were always against that decision. When Rhian came into her life, she told her about her condition and while she had the chance to back away and leave, her ex-fiancée stayed.

So, she's back to square one. Start all over again, hoping that what she feels for Anntonia will pass and she'll move on like she always does. But the woman left an impression on her, the things that she didn't do with other people she did with her and it was something that she would never forget and will always treasure, but not before she tries to win her back.

Michelle tried running after her even if her heart and her breathing wouldn't allow it, and of course she was too late. By the time the elevator gets to the ground floor, Ann wasn't there anymore.

She called her many times, sent her messages, but it's as if the doctor has already decided, and no matter what she does, Anntonia won't give her the time of day. It's done. There's no turning back, and it is something that she needed to accept.

—

Days have passed, and she's miserable. Not hearing from her is terrible, the things that she's got used to, sometimes waking up to her, eating with her, wait for her to come 'home' to her after a busy night from the pub, listen to her banter with her friend whenever they hangout with her, kiss her, drive her crazy, tease her to no end during sex, her smile, the way she laughs– the crinkle on her nose, the way her eyes almost disappear when she laugh; these things are gone, she took them all with her the moment she walked out her door.

Although she already seemed desperate, she couldn't help but try again, but got the same result. Anntonia wanted nothing to do with her. Her heart is breaking and there's no other way to mend it. She chuckles to herself while she's outside Ann's building, deciding if she should go in and knock on her door, but that would be too much. She's done enough.

—

Michelle

I've finished the lyrics that my brother has asked me to do for the album that he's producing.

"When are you going home?" my sister asks when I visit them in their unit. "Let me know so we could go home with you, Bella misses her grandma and grandpa." She smiled.

Taking another bite of the dessert that she just made, I shrugged, "Next month? I'm just trying to do something."

"Was it Abe's song? I thought you'd finished it. He said it was your best one yet." My sister raised an eyebrow, but with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Then I have to ask him for a huge percentage of the royalties when the album gets released. But it's not about that, just waiting on something." Or someone.