Leave Before You Love Me

LET ME LOVE YOU

Anntonia's chin and lower lip quivers, wanting nothing more than to just rip her heart out so she won't feel the shards that keep on stabbing her in the inside. "To be honest, I really don't know what to say or how to even process all of this. It's like my whole being doesn't allow me to and it's driving me mad."

"Do you mind if we sit?" she asked, nodding her head to the empty seats by the semi-secluded hallway of the hospital. Ann nodded her head.

"She has been sick for a long time, gosh, I couldn't even remember when it all started. She underwent medications, surgeries and you can imagine how that kills our parents each time something happens related to her heart disease. You know, between my brother and I, it's hard to live your life to the fullest when one of your loved ones couldn't do it, how could we, when our youngest of the pack is slowly losing her life?" Maxine's voice breaks while she speaks.

"Then she pulled through all of it when our family thought it wasn't gonna be easy for her."

Michelle's older sister chuckles bitterly, "that's why the moment she got the permission, well- barely got the permission that she can leave the house to study and get to work, our mum and dad knew that it's gonna be difficult to ask her to go back home." Maxine shakes her head.

"Not because she's into a full rebel mode, but she wanted to have some freedom, as one would. That didn't stop all of us from worrying about her, of course. She did great, living by herself, making a living for herself, not wanting to depend so much on our parents because throughout her life it was like that."

Ann couldn't speak, all she can do right now is to listen and ask her questions later. Unsure if Maxine has all the answers.

"Then she met Rhian." A pang of jealousy tugged at Ann's chest at the mention of her name. "I don't know if Michelle has ever talked to you about her but she was her ex girlfriend, you see, Rhian is one nurse who helped take care of her." Maxine chuckled.

"How convenient was that, right? Out of anyone she fell for a nurse and to think that she hates going to the hospital, hates doctor's appointments and the irony of it? She got engaged to someone who's in the medical field." There was a pause before the lawyer continued. "But then there's you."

The doctor swallowed the lump in her throat, "and then there's me." She repeated. "Me, who didn't deserve to know the truth," Ann said bitterly.

"The worst part of it is she made me believe she loves me, but you do not destroy someone you love like this. You do not hinder them from knowing the truth and here I thought it was me who did all the damage between us."

A sobbing came out of her, because everything feels heavy. She's a person who always wants to be in control of everything that's happening in her life, this time though, all of it is crumbling down at her feet and she couldn't think of any ways on how to make it stop and slow everything down. "If her plan is to leave like this without me knowing, then what do I believe in? God, I am so angry at her and at myself."

She feels a hand drawing up and down on her back, consoling her. "It's unfair, all of this is unfair."

"My sister- she loves you. I see it, I'm not telling you this to make you stop from being angry at her or anything, though we've met at the most inopportune time," she shakes her head. "Believe me, if it weren't for my daughter who recognised you at the restaurant, we wouldn't be able to find out that my sister was seeing someone and I'm glad that she has met you, those two have taken a liking to you and I think I do now too."

"You have all the rights to be mad because she didn't tell you about her heart, believe me I've talked to her about this many times that you have the right to know what she's going through, but she's scared and Michelle said it doesn't matter anymore because she thought you didn't reciprocate her feelings for you. I will not persuade you to stay by her side right now, take as much time as you need to process all these, but I just want to apologise on behalf of my sister, for hurting you this way and as stubborn as she is, I know she's hurting too. But I'm glad to see you here and thank you."