Invisible

4. Marie

I knew my whole speech was being recorded. Like, written down. I didn't really care to be honest. I didn't care about anything at the moment.

I saw the message that Carlotta had sent me like an hour ago. I just quickly responded and then stared out of the window. I felt a drop of cold water fall down my dry cheek. Tears. Shoot, I was crying. I hope my mum didn't notice me. It's not like she would care anyways.

When we got back to my place, I went to my room and looked over all of the texts by Carlotta. She was actually serious about it. I know it sounds mean - but I found it weird that she was more worried than me. She's always... well I don't know. I went onto my phone and searched up what I meant:

Some people always let their minds jump to the worst possible conclusions. This is known as catastrophic thinking, or "catastrophizing." It's a habit people get into for various reasons, and it can be difficult to break.

She imagines all the worst stuff that could happen. It doesn't help that she has a decent imagination. Nothing ever helps for Lotta.

I scrolled through the texts and then grabbed my sketch book. I was not going to do my homework.

"I'll do that later," I thought as I grabbed the sharpener to sharpen my pencil.

I then started drawing. Big, thick lines covered the page, some more faded than others but all very similar. Then I held up the drawing.

"Oh god," I whispered so quietly someone next to me couldn't have heard. The thoughts were rushing through my head. Why had I drawn this.? I crumbled it up and threw it into a corner of my room. It was hidden behind my skateboard. Atleast, it was out of sight. I saw my phone light up. Carotta had sent me a link. I pressed on it, wondering what it was. A blue newspaper website page came up.

" 'Girl and brother almost kidnapped'," I whispered to myself. An article. An actual freaking article... on me! Why had the police told everyone about this? I read through the words and my smile faded. I didn't say that... I think.

I messaged Carlotta back. I knew she wouldn't call. She prefers not to, unless she asks first.

She did ask and I answered. I saw her face - it had been invaded with worry. I was angry that everyone was so scared and concerned about me. I mean, I was fine. I guess. Well, to be honest I am not sure about anything at the moment.

"You good?" Carlotta asked. What was I supposed to say!? I was getting seriously peeved at this point.

"Yes!" I snapped, purposely not hiding the vexed feeling inside of me. Why was everyone irritating me so much? It was all getting too... too problematic.

"Alright then. Would you like to come over to my mum's and do our homework. I can't concentrate."

Jesus Carlotta. She obviously didn't realise. Oh come on Marie. Not this again. I was getting so angry about everything. Just every small thing. It happens a lot. I especially get angry with my parents or sometimes even take it out on Carlotta - which is ever so unfair - but I do it. It just makes me feel slightly better. But nobody understands! They just think I'm being disrespectful and it angers me even more!

No Carlotta! I don't want to come over! I can't come over! What do you think? My parents are going to let me? Pft!

I wanted to scream at her. But that was mean.

"Sorry, I can't," I replied quickly.

"Ok..." Carlotta obviously looked slightly upset. Maybe I had annoyed her? Well whatever, I had bigger things to deal with.