Color Crew Smut (Now On Wattpad!!!)

on the outside always looking in

This fic is a weird mix of overly real-life-accurate and being unrealistically very dramatic and very RGB focused. Sorry not sorry im insane about them

Also the style is very different (there is exactly one line of dialogue in this) but whatever

Have it be known that I made the choice to let Yello go completely unmentioned. Agree with that or don't.

Title from Alone, Pt. II by Alan Walker, Ava Max, which was also the inspiration for this fic.

Characters: Boosfer, little bit of Kier and Dev

Tags: Friendship, Abandonment Issues, it's probably trauma, Hurt/Comfort (?)

Words: 933

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

2005.

The first time he moves cities, he's too young to remember much. But he remembers not understanding; this was his home, why did he have to leave?

When he says goodbye to his kindergarten friends, it's mostly because his parents told him to. He doesn't quite understand that he will never see them again.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

2009.

The second time, he's old enough to be upset about it. He understands the why, on a basic level, he just doesn't understand what could ever be worth leaving everything - everyone - behind.

He says goodbye to his friends, clings to them while they all cry. He's old enough to feel vaguely embarrassed about it, but young enough that he can't do anything different.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

2011.

The third time, he's old enough to be truly angry and yet utterly helpless. He understands, but that doesn't make it any easier, it only makes him angrier.

He says goodbye again, to people he's known for barely two years, and finds that it hurts less. (Or maybe he's getting used to pain.)

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

2012.

The fourth and fifth time, he's only stayed at one place for months at a time. He stops trying to make new friends. It never lasts anyway.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

2015.

The sixth time, he has spent three years in this city and yet knows nothing more than surface level information about any of his peers. It's a protection mechanism, he's vaguely aware, because he doesn't want to get hurt. He doesn't want to leave.

Of course, he does anyway.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

2017.

The seventh time, he moves countries. It's the last time he will move without wanting to, but he doesn't know that yet.

In Norway, everything is different: The language, the food, the taste of the air, the people. It's not home. He hasn't had a home in a long time.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

2019.

He graduates school. He cheers with his peers and doesn't feel a connection to any of them.

He starts university. There is a real possibility he might get to keep any friends he makes here, but he's... scared. Because what if he does make friends and then has to leave all over again, like always?

He turns eighteen. He celebrates with his family and no-one else.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

2020.

The pandemic hits, and it leaves Boosfer feeling like he's drowning, stranded in the ocean, with nothing but water in all directions and nowhere to go. With the world hiding behind closed doors, he is more alone than ever before.

And then he meets Kier and Dev.

They're not his friends, they're just people he records with, but no-one has told them that. They come into his life and make space for themselves with an assurance he doesn't know how to deal with. It's like they expect to stay. It's like they don't know that's not how it works, that's not how he works. He doesn't have friends. He doesn't make friends.

But they do, and they don't ask permission.

It's scary, and it's the easiest thing in the world. Boosfer finds himself looking forward to every call, every message, and then finds himself not looking forward to it but more so expecting it as a certainty. It's a novelty. It feels like breathing deep and true when he'd been choking all his life.

Their group grows, they grow, and between making content and having fun, he completely forgets that he doesn't do friends. Not that it matters, because they wouldn't let him leave anyway, even if he tried, even if history repeated itself. There so much distance between them already that there's nowhere he could move to that would change anything. It's a kind of relief he doesn't know how to put into words.

He doesn't think they know. Kier and Dev, maybe; they've known him the longest, they've known him first. They might know that they saved him when he didn't even know he needed saving, they might know they're the only friends he's ever gotten to keep. They don't ask him about it, and he doesn't tell. But he thinks they might know anyway.

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

The eighth time, he moves of his own volition for the first time ever. Again, he moves countries, and not only that, continents. Across the Atlantic, farther than ever before, and without his family, completely alone. Except that he's not, and he has someone waiting for him.

Kier and Dev pick him up from the airport. He only has two suitcases and a bag with him, the rest of his belongings either has already arrived or will soon. Still, when he spots them, he almost drops everything and runs - because there's no way this is real. It can't be. How could it?

They don't know that. They see him, and they light up like they need him as much as he needs them, and he can't do anything but stand still and grip his bags so tight his joints hurt while they come up to him.

Kier hugs him first, warm and firm. Dev smiles at him over Kier's shoulder, his eyes shining wet, and then Boosfer is wrapped up in both of their arms, and the years of loneliness fall away. He has friends, two of them - more, but these two are special - and he gets to keep them. He won't leave. They won't leave.

"Welcome home," Kier says or maybe it's Dev, Boosfer can't tell, and it doesn't matter. He's home. He hasn't been home in- in-

Finally, finally, he hugs them back, clings to them as tightly as he can, and feels his heart settle for the first time in years. He's home.