On-Brand Loyalty - Off the Clock

Just a Prank

N awoke in his upside down perch with a yawn and a stretch. Once every system was booted up, N removed himself from the ceiling and ejected his wings as he descended downwards and stopped to hover about a foot off the ground, ready to take off for the night.

"Yo N!" V's voice called out, causing N to pause in confusion. "I got something to show ya!" Turning his head, N spotted his squadmate waving from behind their crashed pod. He landed and returned his wings to their spawning points and walked over to his crush. V smirked and pointed to what was hidden behind the ship, a frozen statue of what seemed to be a Worker Drone.

N's eyes glowed with awe. "Oooh! Neato!" He knocked on the sculpture a few times to test its sturdiness." I had no idea you knew how to sculpt with ice, V! That's awesome!"

V rolled her eyes and snickered. "Oh yeah... PFFT... I do consider myself quite the artist, glad of you to finally notice..." She put her hand over her mouth, as if trying to stop herself from laughing.

As N continued to overlook and admire the statue, he couldn't help but notice how... uncanny it was in its resemblance to their Worker friend Dror, same height and everything. There was even a glowing set of orange LED lights within the ice... which blinked...

"WAITAMINUTE!!! DID YOU FREEZE DROR!?"

V burst out cackling. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Took you long enough! Oh, he looks so stupid doesn't he?!"

The male disassembler frantically looked back and forth between V and the frozen Dror with wide eyes, trying to wrap his head around what had happened. "But? What? Why!? HOW!?"

Finally gaining some semblance of composure, V padded N on the shoulder. "Slowly, and with a big fat smile on my face. Twerp had it coming." As N stared at her with his jaw dropped in horror, she grinned sadistically. "I think he's better this way, a whole lot quieter."

N grabbed V by the shoulders. "J is gonna be really angry V, we gotta get him out before you get punished!"

V finally lost her smile and pulled N's hands off of her, suddenly stoic. "Ok, you're right, we do need to get him out... first, however-" In an instant V took off out the spire's entrance, leaving N staring in disbelief as she cackled away.

Turning back around, N thought long and hard about what to do as Dror's frozen frame stared back at him. "Okay, gotta break you out, hopefully before J notices what happened." He began swapping his hands out for all manner of weapons and items as he brainstormed.

"Hammer? No, too dangerous. Bullets? Would probably bounce all over the place. Chainsaw? No, even I'm not that much of a moron." He held his tail out in front of his face. "Acid would just melt right through you... Oh, wait, melt! That's it! I can melt you out!" N smiled his usual goofy grin. "Stay right there, I'll be right back!"

N took off to who-knows-where, leaving Dror to roll his eyes from within his icy prison, about the only thing he could actually do besides contemplate where he went wrong in his life. Eventually N came back with a box of safety matches from a nearby ruined convenience store (still somehow usable). He took one out and scrapped it against the box until it became a flame far tinier than N had anticipated.

N contemplated once more. "That's not gonna help. Need something more..."

Minutes later, Dror's eyes frantically darted around in fear as N poured excess oil from one of the corpses they had in reserve around the scrap pile he was now placed on top of. "There we go, you'll be out of that ice and be all warm and cozy again in a sec!" All done, N threw the body away and pulled out another match. As Dror's eyes widened as far as they possibly could, N prepared to light the oil when he paused. "Hmmm, maybe this isn't the smartest idea-."

"N, WHAT THE HELL!?"

N's eyes hollowed just like Dror's as he turned around ever so slowly. "Heeeeeey J! How're you?"

J, suddenly standing behind N, merely stared daggers at him and plainly gestured with her hand at the Drorsicle doused in oil.

N frantically waved his hands. "I-It's all good J! V was just having some fun and things got out of hand and I was trying to fix it and AH SHOOT!" In his panic, the lit match flew out of his hands and ignited the oil, leading Dror to be engulfed in a massive blaze.

Both squad leader and subordinate slowly turned their heads to stare at each other, N smiled incredibly nervously as J's hands became claws.

--------------------------------------------

Later that night, V arrived back at the spire. A smirk is still on her face. "Shame about N...Ah who am I kidding he'll be fine, he's withstood J's punishments for years. I'm sure J's already more focused on doting over the midget anyway..." V froze in place as she looked up to see J hovering the air and glaring at her.

"Oh heeeey J. How's your night been-" She had barely finished her sentence before J pulled out a rocket launcher and fired point blank.

"Oh shi-"

The flurry of explosions that followed were heard from inside the spire, where N was wrapping bandages around Dror, both witnessing the firefight going on outside. N sported new scratches and freshly regenerated limbs, while his orange-eyed friend was looking completely miserable with blackened and burnt clothes and still-lit embers in his hair.

"Dror I'm really sorry for-..."

"Don't ever talk to me again."