Coastline From The Sky- (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 29

I silently continue painting. Even though, I know deeply about myself that my mind is wandering now. I just can’t help but think why he got angry with me. If he worries about what his brother should think about us, I can tell him honestly that we’re just a colleague, that I was his brother’s former captain. That we worked in the same airline and flew in the same plane. He shouldn’t worry about his brother’s reaction if ever he’ll question me.

Or maybe he’s afraid that his brother might tell his girlfriend about me?

Does Arshed have a girlfriend? Is that what he worries about me meeting his brother?

My heart aches because of that thought.

Bakit ngayon ko lang iyon naisip gayong halos magta-tatlong buwan na siyang nag-aalaga at nagbabantay sa akin dito sa hospital?

At bakit nga ba siya nandito? Does his conscience not let him leave me alone? Does he think that he is responsible for what happened to me?

Kaya ba siya nandito dahil nagi-guilty siya sa nangyari sa akin?

My hands were shaking because of the mixed thoughts that were running on my mind. My anxiety starts to kick me in again. My breathing starts to hitch.

Sa sobrang panginginig ng kamay ko ay nabitawan ko ang paint brush at canvas na hawak ko. Nalagyan ng pintura ang bedsheet na nakatakip sa paa ko kaya dali-dali akong nilingon at hinawakan ni Arshed.

“Hey, Captain, are you okay? Relax,” I heard him whispered, but my hands continued shaking. Naramdaman kong hinawakan ni Arshed ang mga kamay kong nanginginig, kaya marahas kong hinila ang kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya. Hindi niya siguro inaasahan iyon kaya agad niya akong nabitawan.

“S-Stay a-away...” My voice is crooked. Akma ulit na hahawakan ni Arshed ang kamay ko pero agaran ang pag-iwas ko.

Nabitin sa ere ang kamay niya, bago iyon binaba niya sa kama at tinitigan ako.

“Captain... breathe... just breathe calmly,” he said.

I’m trying my best to do what he said, pero nagpatuloy pa rin ang pagnginginig ko at nagsimulang maghabol ng hininga.

This time, Arshed rushed into my side and hugged me tightly, kahit na nagpumiglas ako. He’s just too strong kaya hindi ako nakawala sa yakap niya.

“G-Get off me! S-Stay a-away! L-Let me go...” Nagpumilit pa rin akong kumawala kahit na alam kong hindi ko magagawa. Mas lalo pang humigpit ang yakap ni Arshed sa akin.

“Relax, Captain... it’s me, Arshed. Breathe... just breathe,” paulit-ulit na bulong niya hanggang sa kumalma ako. Naramdaman ko ang pananatili ng paghalik niya sa ulo.

We didn’t say anything, hanggang sa tuluyan na akong kumalma. Arshed immediately offered me water na agad ko namang tinanggap.

While sitting quietly, I could feel his stares at me. I know he’s observing me. Siguro iniisip niya na magpa-panic na naman ako.

My eyes darted on the unfinished painting that fell off the floor. Nagkalat rin ang ibang paint at paint brush na ginamit ko kanina dahil sa pagpa-panic ko. Siguro din, kaya nalalaglag ang gamit ni Arshed when he rushed into me.

Fallen unfinished painting... just like how my life is now... unfinished. I haven’t finished my journey as a pilot yet. My life now is like this unfinished painting... I don’t know if I could even finish it. I don’t know if I can continue living my life like this... pabigat sa ibang tao. Pitiful and crumpled.

“I’m sorry...”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin dahil sa biglaang sinabi ni Arshed. He looked so disturbed and I don’t know what that was for.