Never You (Penelope/Colin)

Part 2

"Is it working?" he asked with a cheeky smile.

"I won't be indulging your whims, Colin."

He pouted at her. "How unfortunate." Eyes glued to her face, he drank from his cup. "Shall I take a turn about the room, Pen? Perhaps I'll run into Lady Portia and ask her if she'll arrange a dance for the two of us."

Pen quirked her eyebrow. "I certainly won't stop you from dancing with Mama if that's what your heart desires."

Colin laughed heartily, and instantly Penelope noticed Lord Fife and some of the other gentlemen glancing at them. And they weren't the only ones. Nearby were Eloise and Cressida Cowper, watching her with disdain. Feeling self-conscious at all the attention they were drawing, Penelope stilled. "I've asked you to leave me alone, Mr. Bridgerton."

His sigh was heavy with resignation. "I see we're back to unpleasantries."

"I don't understand why you're here. Aren't you worried about Lord Fife and his gaggle laughing at you?"

"I don't give a damn about what he says."

"That's certainly not true."

The easy smile on his face dissolved, replaced with an intensity that held her transfixed. Regret loomed over his features. "I am truly sorry, Pen. I shouldn't have said what I said. I wish I could tell you there was a reason why I behaved so foolishly but I can't. I was intoxicated, yes, but that doesn't excuse my behavior." He took a step closer, his hands tantalizingly close to her own gloved ones. "I will do anything to earn your forgiveness. Please. Just tell me what you need."

They were in a ballroom crowded with people but all she saw was Colin standing in front of her, his eyes soft and pleading, voice trembling with emotion. Yes he hurt her, wounded her so deeply that she spent weeks in despair trying to understand how he could be so cruel, but seeing him so torn up made her recognize he was sincerely apologetic. If she was honest with herself about that fateful encounter, what devastated her the most wasn't him putting her down in front of others, but the sinking realization that he never really could love her. And that wasn't his fault. It wasn't fair to be angry at him for not reciprocating her feelings because love was not something that could be forced or demanded. And despite their newly fractured relationship, they were close friends once and she didn't want him to continue suffering because of her. "I forgive you."

Stunned, he stared at her. "You do?"

"Yes. We've both been unkind but it doesn't serve any purpose to hold on to that pain." She offered him a smile. "So you needn't worry, Colin. Everything's resolved between us."

The cloud of worry departed from his face, his lips broke into a mischievous smile. "Does this mean I can have the next dance?"

She paused, her stomach twisting into coils. "Our friendship, Colin, it complicates things. It makes everything more difficult and..." Wringing her fingers together, she glanced down at her hands. "You'll be traveling soon and I'll be moving away from London once I'm married. We won't see each other often and it wouldn't be appropriate for us to exchange letters then. I wouldn't want my husband or others to misconstrue things." She looked up at him through her lashes. "It's best if we end our friendship now."