・❥・ She thought maybe she was okay with being wicked. That she was so angry, so desperately, bitterly livid. She thought perhaps there were pieces of this world that deserved her wrath. Her wickedness. Some souls who deserved to be snuffed out.
・❥・...
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╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗
・❥・ Over the next week or so, Cirsei had scarcely left her room. She slept more hours of the day than she was awake. It was as if the toll the last decade had taken on her body had finally caught up with her.
Cassian or Mor had come to check in on her sporadically, bringing her meals or trying to coax her out of bed, and as much as Cirsei wished to appease them, she was just so exhausted.
When she was asleep, she did not have to remember. She found that since she'd discovered the faebane and opium like substance her father had been slipping her with her breakfast each day, and the fog in her mind had begun to dissipate, she'd been assaulted with more and more recollections of things that had happened to her there. She hadn't realized how much of it was completely blacked out. The faces of those who had degraded and defiled her visited her in her dreams, more and more of them with each passing day.
She'd been trying to shove the memories back into the little box in her mind from which they'd broken free. She was sure it was the only way she'd be able to continue. She tried to focus on the brighter, happier moments which preceded the darkness, but those always included her mother which sprung forth a different type of pain. It all felt so hopeless.
But now she'd finally grown restless. She'd rested all she could, and examined every inch of the room for anything of interest. She'd finally grown bored.
As if on cue, a gentle rapping sounded on her door. She walked over and opened it to find Cassian on the other side.
He looked surprised, perhaps because she had come to open the door rather than calling out to him from her bed.
"Dinner," He offered, a silver tray of food atop his forearms. Meat and vegetables and bread. It smelled inviting and delicious but Cirsei's stomach had been unwilling to hold any food down for the last few days.
"Thank you," she took the tray from him and turned around to set it on the small table where she usually put the food, but unlike those other times, she left her door open.
"You know I know you haven't been eating all this food I've been bringing you," Cassian did not miss the opportunity she left for him to step further into her room.
She stiffened for a moment before spinning to face him, "I have, too."
A playful smirk found its way onto his handsome features, "You're a terrible liar."
She felt her cheeks heat up and quickly looked down at the floor.
"It's a shame, too, to let it all go to waste. You don't know what you're missing."
She glanced back up at him and then to the food on the table, steam curling off of it. It occurred to her that her refusal to eat it each day may be an insult to the High Lord and his staff. It was the first time the thought crossed her mind and now she felt terribly embarrassed.
