Accordance

15

"Roto...go on..."

"She taught me things I'll never forget. She saw how they had spoiled and pampered me. She let me know that at her house I would not be. I would have to work hard. She gave me chores, things I never knew existed. I did things I thought were only for a woman. I cleaned her floors and washed her windows. I washed her laundry in the brook nearby and hung them out to dry. As I grew older, I became glad she taught me how to to this because she could no longer do them herself."

"She didn't like depending on me to be honest. She had depended on only one man and that was my grandfather. She had not allowed her father to care for her beyond adulthood. But I did it because I loved her. And she made me feel needed. I remember this day like it just happened...The day she taught me to cook." He chuckled.

"She had awakened me early and declared that I was going to cook her breakfast. I looked at her like she was crazy. I had never touched a pot or pan a day in my life. I had servants for that. She was not having it. Can you imagine a woman such as her gripping my ear and forcing me into the kitchen?" Rae laughed.

"That's a funny image."

"Mm. She brought me over to the stove and told me to turn it on. I didn't know where to touch and she irritably got some firewood and threw it into the hearth. She had an old Edo-style stove called kamado. It was what she was used to and preferred not to touch modernity. Even when she married into our family, she remained humble to who she was,"

"She then knelt down and began to cook, grumbling that I was going to make it next time. I had never seen a kamado up close and remember watching in awe. But I learned where she got her strength from. Cooking from a kamado requires leg and arm strength. Patience. I decided that I would work hard to be strong for her. Everything was because of her."

"What happened to your grandpa?"

"He died when I was still a young child. I don't remember meeting him much because my parents did not want his "influence" over me. I wish he had stayed around and taught me how to be a man."

"Your grandma did a good job."

"Yes she did. But, she wasn't a man. It should not fall upon a woman to teach a boy how to be a man. That responsibility should fall on the man."

"I agree."

"My father wouldn't know what it is to be a man even if he tried. At my age, it seems I am more than he ever was." She looked up at him. His fingers gripped a part of her sode. She reached for his hand and gently placed it back on her hair. He smiled.

"I knew you felt pain. You are so broken Hiroto... Tell me more..." Her voice was sounding less slurred and he wondered. But at this point, he couldn't stop. He wanted her to see... who he was.

"I grew older and my parents could see that I was changing. They knew it was because of my grandmother. They exiled her from the family and forced her to live in Nara by herself. An old woman. I believe my mother was especially bitter because I had started calling her Mom. But, she was. She was the woman who raised me. I remember one night, I had snuck out of our encampment and traveled to Nara to meet her. No one in our family had taken care of her and by then she had grown old to the point where she could not care for herself. I was angry. How could they abandon her? What the fuck for?" At his harsh tone, she stiffened. He felt anger grow hot in his chest.

"If I didn't come to care for her, she would have wasted away and died alone."

"How old were you then?" She asked quietly.