Chocolate Milk

Chapter 2

"Quiet on set!" someone exclaimed and Idil resisted the urge to flee. Lubna, who sat almost directly in front of her, gave her an encouraging smile.

"Starting in five, four," the guy behind her started before counting down quietly with his hands

3, 2, 1.

"Can you tell us your name, age and what you do?"

"My name is Idil, I'm 26 years old and I'm a data analyst," she replied, schooling her facial expressions so as to not betray her nerves. It was safe to say this experience was way out of her comfort zone. She was used to working in a cubicle generally avoiding interactions with other humans, so being placed in front of a bunch of cameras while answering personal questions was not on her list of things to do within her lifetime.

"How long have you been divorced, Idil?" Lubna asked.

"Two years," Idil replied, taken by surprised at how much time had gone by. "We got married when we were 21, so right out of college we got married and moved in together."

Lubna nodded and waited a few seconds as if giving her time to process. "Why did you get divorced?"

"Uh...he cheated on me," Idil replied, taking a pause as her memories took her back. She'd recounted the story countless times and after having made peace with it, the never ending feeling of panic subsided a great deal. "That as you can imagine, was a huge deal breaker." She heard someone snicker and looked up to find Adam covering his mouth. Idil herself almost laughed, but the laughter died in her throat when she saw Lubna fix him with a stare.

"How did you find out?"

"From his sister. The way it happened was so insane, because she found out accidentally. They were out together when she'd realized she'd forgotten her phone, but needed to call her husband so she used her brother's. When she was done with the phone call, my ex's misstress happened to text him talking about how she missed him." Idil paused to take a deep breath before continuing. She could barely remember the days leading up to the confrontation, but sometimes the emotions of what happened the day she left were so raw that Idil felt exhausted all over again. 

Yet another thing she learned in therapy. 

No matter how much time had passed, there was lingering pain from the loss of that relationship. It was like a wound that had healed, but left a scar and at times when she glanced at that scar the memories were so vivid as if it happened yesterday and not two years ago. That, Idil learned, was how grief worked. Her body and soul had put itself back together, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't be reminded of the pain once in a while. That lesson was one of the many reasons she was grateful for her therapist.

"So his sister gave him an ultimatum; either he came clean or she was going to tell me. Spoiler alert, he didn't come clean. Two weeks went by without him saying a single thing which means he spent those two weeks lying to me. His sister must've had enough because she eventually told me everything. I think the fact that I found out from someone else made the pain even worse."

"How so?"

"Well, it still would've hurt regardless, but I think it would've hurt less if he'd told me himself because then it meant that there was a part of him that cared for me enough to tell me the truth."

"Do you think you might've worked things out if he told you himself?"

"I don't think so, but I would've at least had some respect left for him if he took it upon himself to tell me. Instead he kept running away from the issue as if it was going to magically solve itself"

"Did you notice any signs?"

"I didn't notice the signs until after the divorce because I think that was when the rose tinted glasses came off."