I Am Guilty

20. That Dreadful Night

Arjun put the now cold cup back on the coffee table and looked at her.
She had her eyes glossy.

"So, you still work there?" She asked.

He shook his head.
"Those were the initial days. Like two years almost. I needed to complete my education. Nothing seemed important that time. I had no clue as to what I should do to get some time to go to a college and fund my education. I was stuck. There was no way I could come back. One fine day, I came across an advertisement. They needed a few singers to perform in the night bar of a hotel. I thought of giving it a try. I turned out to be lucky. They heard me trying out a song. They selected me and it worked in my favour. The money was good. I had to work in the nights only. I could go to a college in the day time and work at night. I left the Gurudwara and came to stay with a few boys that were sharing a room. The rent was affordable too. Slowly, I completed my education and applied for the administration work in the same hotel. And I still work there, as a manager for finance." He added and looked at her.

"That was all I did in these ten years."

She wiped her eyes and looked away.
"You never thought you could come back?"

He shook his head.
"No, Veena. There was no coming back. Dad had severed all ties. He did not give me a chance to put my point through. And I was going through a black phase."

Veena nodded and looked away. The full cup of coffee that he placed on the table caught her attention.
She licked her lips and asked, "do you.... I mean... Do you still consume alcohol?"

Arjun looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. He did not know where that came from.
"Alcohol? Yeah... Sometimes. Occasionally... Why would you ask that?"

Her eyes hardened.
"Don't you think, you should let go of that thing? Influence of alcohol made you molest a girl and kill her?"

Arjun froze. It was harsh to hear it from her. She could hear the silence and was about to get up and leave.

"I did not kill her." He suddenly spoke and she halted in her movements.

Arjun looked at her with emotionless eyes.
"I did not drink that night. Nor did I know that girl."

She could not believe what he was saying.

"She was a senior to me. I never knew she existed. It was not that I knew everyone who studied in my institution." He added.

"What happened then? You were the one who was found with her molested state." She could not keep the shock at bay.

Arjun let out a deep breath.
"I don't know how she happened to come there. It was a really happening night. Since it was the farewell night for twelfth standard, no alcohol was permitted. We all were hardly 18 or still underage. I needed to call Bansi as she had called me a few times and I could not answer her owing to the loud music."

He raked his fingers through his now unruly hair.
"I stepped away to go to a quieter place. I was about to dial home, when I was suddenly attacked from behind. My phone slipped from my hands and I was held in a strong grip. I was unprepared and clueless."

Veena furrowed her eyebrows and her heart was filled with fear.

"Even before I could think, a foul smelling bottle was pushed through my mouth. I realized that it was strong alcohol. The grip on me was to strong and I could do nothing as the alcohol entered my system through my nose and my mouth. Whoever it was, did not let me even breathe. I was to consumed by shock to react sensibly."

Arjun's hands shook lightly as he relived that moment. The scared eighteen year old boy flashed in front of him.

"Who was that?" She asked with trembling voice.

"I don't know. He had me trapped from behind me."

Veena looked away, trying to grasp the meaning of his words.
"But why would anyone do that to you? And what about that girl?"

I am still trying to figure it out. That girl, I don't know how she was involved. The alcohol in my system kicked off, making me incapable of doing anything. I fell to my knees, coughing vigorously while he had managed to dump the entire bitter and smelly liquid in me. He was ready to shove me down the rails of the building, and I would have died that instant. He was trying to push me down, but I managed to give a natural fight."

Veena was too shocked by the revelation.

"I was losing my mind and senses, when I heard a girly scream. His hold on me loosened and I fell to the ground. I don't know what happened next. I found my self in the hospital, injured. I came to know that was pressed charges for molestation of a girl. I tried to dry, but I had no evidence to prove my point. When the girl died, I was about to be tried in the court as an adult."

"But someone bailed you out?" Veena asked.

Arjun looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.
"You knew?"

"That's what Samrat told me. Who was that?"

Arjun nodded in understanding.
"The girl's brother. She gave a statement, before dying that I was not involved with whatever happened to her. He bailed me out and cleared me of all charges."

"Ohh." Veena said thoughtfully.

"Why did you not come back and tell this to your family? She asked.

"I tried, Veena. When I was released from the police custody, I came home. My father did not bother listen to my story. I did not find it worth to prove it to them again."
Arjun did not want to recall the moment when he was locked in a room and his father had belted him until he passed out. When he regained consciousness, in the dark hours of night, he was unceremoniously thrown out of the house, with the battered pair of clothes that he was wearing.

He did not have the courage to ask for another chance at life. He had walked to the nearest station and thought of throwing himself in front the running train.
But he was a coward and did not find the courage to kill himself. He had boarded the first train that came.
Without taking a proper ticket, he kept on changing the trains and did not know where he had reached until his tired body betrayed him and he had passed out in front of a Gurudwara, where he slowly found a ray of hope to lead a better life.

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