Spotless

12.

Saul and Fabbi ate dinner at the B&B. Despite their previous feelings, the food was delicious.

"Okay Fabbi," Saul spoke between small bites of his meatloaf, "let's discuss the plan for the briefing in the morning.

Fabbi listened to the plans, only partially, he paid more attention to poking at his mashed potatoes.

"And then we will... Fabbi? Fabbi are you listening?" Saul was staring at Fabbi who was staring at the wall.

"Huh..?"

Saul sighed, "You're not listening. Fabbi this is important—"

"I know it's important, Saul, jeez. I just don't see why we always have to be talking about it."

"Because it's why we—"

"Why we are here, I fucking know, Saul! You make soooo fucking sure I fucking know that every fucking second."

"Why are you so upset so suddenly, you were just fine five fucking minutes ago! God you're so unpredictable sometimes!" Saul groans, pushing his plate away. The argument was ruining his appetite.

"God you act like you fucking know me, Saul. You don't fucking know me! You don't know if I'm fucking unpredictable, you haven't taken any fucking chance to get to know me!"

"You say that like you are upset that I haven't!"

"Well maybe I—"

Saul hit the table roughly, "What, Fabbi, you what?"

"Maybe I am! Maybe I am upset, Saul..."

The atmosphere changed at the table, both men stayed silent for a moment and Fabbi was panting softly.

"You.." Saul bit his lip, looking down at the table, "you could have told me, you know.."

"Not really, Saul."

Saul opened his mouth to speak, but refrained. It was kind of true, he didn't exactly allow Fabbi any chances to open up.

"I... I'm sorry, Fabbi."

"Whatever Saul, it's whatever."

The tension was high at the table, and it was only beginning.

After their meal, the two of them went back to their room. Saul sat on the bed and unpacked his suitcase while Fabbi left to have a cigarette outside.

Fabbi's words were running through his mind. Maybe I am upset, Saul...

He felt like a total ass. He always considered himself a open guy, the kind of guy that people could open up to. I guess not, he thought. He'd let his frustrations and misplaced hatred keep Fabbi from feeling like he could open up. He needed to apologize.

***

"Those things'll kill you, yknow." Saul walked over to the spot where Fabbi was sitting, in the process of lighting his second cigarette.

"That's the goal in the end, no? To die? You are born, you hang around until God's bored with you, then he takes you away. Who cares what I do it the living part." He took a drag off the cigarette, letting the smoke go in a soft sigh.

"You believe in God?" Fabbi turned and looked to Saul, studying the seriousness of his face.

"You don't?"

"Not really, not anymore."

"What changed for you."

Saul sighed, "I guess when I really needed God most, he wasn't there. I guess that kind of ruined the whole... never mind." He moved and sat next to Fabbi on the concrete. "... Give me that."

With an eyebrow raised, Fabbi passed his cigarette over to Saul. He inspected it for a moment before raising it to his lips and taking a hesitant drag.

Fabbi laughed as Saul's lungs immediately rejected the smoke and  sent him into a small coughing fit.

"Not a big smoker huh?" Saul shook his head and wiped the tears forming in his eyes. "I can tell." He grabbed the cigarette from him and took a much less strained drag. "That's not a bad thing though."

"Hey.. Fabbi.. I just.. Can we talk?" Saul shoved his hands into his pockets and turned away from Fabbi, he couldn't face him.

Fabbi stayed quiet for a moment. "Sure."

"I'm.. I'm really sorry I made you feel like you couldn't open up. It truly wasn't my intention. Really.. I thought you didn't like me, so I reciprocated the feelings. I was a total ass to you, and I apologize for that..." Saul looked out to the street, cars going by every so often.

Fabbi turned and glanced at him.

"It's okay, I forgive you. I wasn't exactly Mister Nice Guy either."