cigarettes ☹ alex turner

XXIII

XXIII

Kimberly Eve Browne

MY HEART IS pounding out of my chest.

We made eye contact and he left the room. I heard him conversing with someone else and I furrowed my eyebrows. What the fuck is happening? He got thrown back into the room, and was looking out the door constantly.

I didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to even say anything.

What in the world was he doing here? That asshole always comes at the wrong time. When I want to fix things, When I want to recover, when I literally just told my parents and just made up with Richard, this shit happens. Great. I hated myself for thinking this, but he looked amazing. Maybe if I squinted a little you could see bags under his eyes, and maybe his skin looked a little paler, but maybe that's just what I wanted. I wanted him to be upset, as rude and horrible as that was. I wanted him to be upset because that would've shown that he cared about me, and he really was falling for me, like he said.

In that moment, when he had told me that, I had truly believed that. Looking back, it was probably a lie. I don't know the reason behind it, but it was a lie. Why would he admit that our relationship was fake, and then tell me he's falling for me? He thought that I would feel better, maybe? I don't know. He was so confusing. To take that confusion further, he was in my house, the Brighton one! How does he even know where I am?

"A-A-Alex. What are you doing here?" I was so shocked that I couldn't even talk properly. I just couldn't comprehend this situation and what is going on.

Alex rubs his neck. He was nervous? Why was he nervous? He was the one that came here. He felt nothing for me, and I felt almost everything for him. I felt a flood of emotions for him, and he didn't even feel a raindrop. I was a scream towards him, and he wasn't even a whisper towards me.

"I-" Alex starts to explain but my eyes widen even more when I realise that Richard came through the window just now, with a huge smile plastered on his stupid face. Richard had brought him here. I felt so confused that I couldn't even think. Richard, someone who hated the absolute shit out of Alex, brought him here? What is actually going on?

"Hey Kimmy, you alright?" Richard said. Really Richard? You bring my ex into my house, my ex, someone that you hate the shit out of and ask me if I'm alright? Are you serious? Am I loosing my mind or something?

"Are any of you gonna explain what is going on here?" I say and fold my arms angrily, raising an eyebrow at the two of them.

Richard stifles a laugh, and I raise my eyebrow even higher. What about this situation was even remotely funny? If anything it was more confusing then ever. Alex rubbed his neck again, and I looked at him. He quickly caught my glance and looked at me, but I looked back at Richard. "Are you?" I ask again.

Richard steps closer to me. "Why are you mad? I thought that we're okay?" He questions, looking at me.

"We are okay," I confirm, "I just want to know what's going on. Why is Alex here?" I say, and we both look at Alex, as he rubs his neck again. Jesus, he was nervous.

"Richard she's in a towel, I should-" and he tried to leave again but Richard didn't let him. I feel like I'm on crack or something. Is that really the main issue here?

"You shouldn't be after Alex. He didn't do anything wrong," Richard says, and I was still as confused as before. Richard thought that Alex was an incredibly horrible person after what he did to me. I guess that it doesn't matter because he only hurt me.

"I was harsh on him for no reason, Kimmy. Look, just let him tell you," Richard says and looks over to Alex who immediately stopped rubbing his neck and stared at Richard before looking at me. "I'm going downstairs, I'll see you later Kim," he says, smiling cheekily and scruffs my hair before walking out.