"Wonka" by Mariah Picon

Chapter 5: Down to the Wash House

Later that night, the clock on the mantle chimes six as Willy walks into Scrubitt and Bleacher place. Bleacher is closing the shutters for the night.

"Evening, Mr. Wonka. How'd it go?" Mrs. Scrubitt asked.

"Not quite as well as I'd hoped." Willy answered.

"Oh, shame. Well, I'm afraid we do have to settle up now." Mrs. Scrubitt said.

"Well, thankfully, the room's taken care of. Believe we said a sovereign." Willy said.

Willy puts the sole sovereign on the table to pass it to Mrs. Scrubitt.

"For the room, yes. But you have incurred a few extras during the course of your residency with ourselves." Mrs. Scrubitt said.

"Have I?" Willy asked.

"Yes, you have." Mrs. Scrubitt answered.

Mrs. Scrubitt opens her ledger and starts totting up Willy's bill.

"There was that glass of gin you had on arrival, and if I remember rightly, you warmed your cockles by the fire." Mrs. Scrubitt said.

"He did indeed, Mrs. Scrubitt." Bleacher said.

"Cockle-warming is extra, see?" Mrs. Scrubitt asked/

"Used the stairs to get to his room, and all." Bleacher said.

"Oh, then you've got your stair charge, and that is per step, I'm afraid. Up and down. Now, tell me, Mr. Wonka, did you happen to use the mini bar?" Mrs. Scrubitt asked.

"There's a minibar?" Willy asked.

"Mini bar of soap." Bleacher said.

"By the sink." Mrs. Scrubitt said.

"Uh... I might have, briefly." Willy answered.

"Oh-ho!" Bleachers said.

"See? Even Bleacher knows you never touch the mini bar, and he was raised in a ditch. Add in your mattress hire, your linen lease, and your pillow penalty, and you are looking at... Ten thousand sovereigns." Mrs. Scrubitt explained.

"You gotta be kidding me?" Willy asked.

"It's all in the small print, dearie." Mrs. Scrubbit answered.

"I don't have 10,000 sovereigns." Willy said.

Bleachers locked the front doors.

"Then, we have a problem, Mr. Wonka." Bleacher said.

"You're gonna have to work it off in the Wash House, ain't ya?" Mrs. Scrubbit asked.

Tiddles barks, scaring Willy as Bleacher was getting closer in front of him.

"At a sovereign a day." Mrs. Scrubbit said.

"Ten thousand days is..." Willy tried to speak.

"Twenty-seven years." Mrs. Scrubitt said.

Bleacher pushes Willy to the laundry chute behind him.

"Hey!" Willy shouted.

"Four months." Bleacher said.

"And 16 days." Mrs. Scrubitt said.

Bleacher hurls Willy into the laundry chute behind him. Willy yells as he falls down the chute into a laundry basket.The Wash House is staffed by four of Mrs Scrubitt's other'guests', all dressed according to their old professions. Abacus Crunch, is an ex-accountant in his sixties wearing atweed suit. He looks up as Willy clambers out of the basket.

"Ah! You must be Mr. Wonka." Abacus said.

"Who are you?" Willy asked.

"Abacus Crunch, Chartered Accountant. At least, I was. Now, I er..."  Abacus answered.

Piper Benz, a streetwise plumber, takes over.

"He runs the place. And you'd best do as he says or you'll answer tome. Piper Benz, plumber by trade." Piper said.

Piper gives a handshake to Willy.

"This is Miss Lottie Bell." Abacus said.

There was Lottie Bell, a woman who is a silent, nervy ex-switchboard operator.

"She don't talk much." Piper said.

And also, Larry Chucklesworth, a man who is is an old-school comedian, enters the room.

"I'm Larry Chucklesworth. Comedian." Larry said, as his bow tie spins.

"Hmm." Abacus said.

"So, they got all of you too, did they?" Willy asked.

"I'm afraid so. We each of us found ourselves in need of a cheap place to stay and neglected to read the small print." Abacus answered.

"One moment of stupidity followed by endless regret." Piper said.

"Sounds like my third marriage!" Larry shouted, in comedy mode.

Larry laughed, but everyone was silent.

"I'm sorry, I do that a lot." Larry said, in sincere.

"He does." Abacus said.

"A lot." Piper said.

"I've only been married once and it didn't work out." Larry said.

Willy looked around for an exit.

"There's gotta be some way out of here." Willy said.

"You don't think we've tried?There are bars on the windows, and there's a dog on the door." Piper said.

"And even if you could get out, that contract is watertight." Abacus said.

"If you're not here at roll call,Mrs Scrubitt'll call the police,they'll bring you right back and she'll charge you a thousand for the inconvenience." Piper explained.

Tiddles, standing guard by the door, barks menacingly to scare Willy again.

"All right, everybody. Back to work. Come along, Mr. Wonka. You come with me. You're in here. On suds." Abacus said.

The song, "Scrub Scrub", starts to play as the Workers return to their various stations. Abacus leads Willy into his section of the Wash House, dominated by two enormous copper vats.

"Whoa." Willy whispered.

First you pick up the apparel
And you stick it in a barrel
Scrub Scrub!

Abacus shows Willy to start stirring the steaming vat. The others join in the song as Willy discovers the drudgery of life in the Wash House. 

Then you take it to the mangle
And you turn the giant handle
Scrub Scrub!

Then it's hung up really high
Until it's nearly dry
Scrub Scrub!

But when we sing this song
The day don't seem so long
Scrub Scrub!

"It's still long, though." Larry said.

The song continues as evening turns into night later on.

Gotta press out all the creases
From the dresses and chemises
Rub Rub!

Gotta fold 'em like they told us
Or they'll scold us and withhold our
Grub Grub!

Bleacher blows the whistle for the roll call and the Workers trudge wearilyupstairs to the Staff Quarters.

We all signed the dotted line
So we've gotta do our time
Scrub Scrub!
Scrub Scrub!

Bleacher and Mrs. Scrubitt sing their part of the song alongside.

And if you don't agree
See clause 5 section 7a
Paragraph 22, Part D which says

SCRUB SCRUB!
SCRUB SCRUB!
SCRUB SCRUB!
SCRUB SCRUB!

The song ended as the workers went into their individual rooms, except Willy as Bleacher slams the door and locks them in for the night.