Desirable (mxm)

fifty-four; moving out

Tears swell in my eyes, yet I still can't look at him.

"I am half the man you are," his voice cracks and I know he's crying. "You were willing to give up your life for Reign and I am grateful for you, for loving her, for cherishing her. But I wasn't there to love and cherish you when I should have, when you needed me. I let my thoughts cloud my judgement and I am sorry. I know nothing will ever be able to be said or done to fix what I've caused but please know that I will live in misery knowing how much I've upset you."

When he says nothing more, I merely nod and take a step further. "Milo–" his desperation makes me stop again. "Please, I'm sorry–" he chokes and my heart clenches.

The sound of his voice cuts straight through me. I sniffle and glance over my shoulder at him, his chest quivering when our eyes meet. The rawness in his eyes makes me see his true vulnerability. I know he's sorry, it's rare to see him this beaten up.

Everett has a track record of saying things he doesn't mean. He's done it to Reign, to Fran and now me. I think he's the one who needs to figure out what's going on in his mind before he speaks to someone else like that.

He steps closer but there is still a few feet of space between our bodies. I've only ever seen him like this and that's when Reign ran away from home–now I'm realising the pain that must be coming back to him.

The second person leaving the house after he spits his vicious words without thinking about the consequences.

"Tell me what I can do," his throat clenches.

I shrug simply. "I can forgive you, Everett. But it's something that I'll never forget."

He nods. Understanding. "Please can I hug you before you leave?"

Fear flashes in his eyes. He thinks he won't see me again–or at least for a while. I step forward deciding that I need this too, even though I'm not happy with him. I don't want to leave with any regrets and I'll regret this.

My arms widen and his eyes light up in surprise and relief. He bundles me into his body, his chest hard as a rock. He lowers his head down to my shoulder. Even though he's a few inches taller than me, it feels a lot more considering the size of his shoulders.

We hold each other for a long moment and I allow my eyes to close. Warmth spreads throughout my body because Everett has always been the big brother who is protective and in this hug, I can feel that.

I pull away from him without glancing at his face again. I grab my things and head out of the gate and straight towards Nate's house without looking back.

♥

When I reach Nate's pack house he's nowhere to be seen. Elin and Zade help me with my things and take them up to Nate's room. I begin to unpack, reminding myself of our conversation a few days ago.

What's mine is yours, Milo. I want you to live here. I want this room to be yours too, this bed, the wardrobes. I want to share everything with you.

As I place my clothes in the spaces that Nate made vacant for me, I wonder if he's with his father or Leon. I know he's taking the Alpha title soon and coming to live here is probably going to put a spanner in the works but he says he doesn't want me anywhere else.

The door to his bedroom opens and I glance over my shoulder to find Nate standing in the doorway. I blink at him, noticing his hair is a little messy and his knuckles are bruised. I flick my eyes over his shirt, his face, every part of his body.

"Where have you been?"

He sniffs and strolls towards the en-suite. "It'll probably be better if you didn't know."