LIFE'S SUCKS

1

I turned on the shower and let the water drops of me.

I started to cry again, the cries turn into sobs, I covered my hands into my mouth, trying all not to make any noise. I'm tired of always doing it, I'm tired to hide my cries with them, I'm tired to pretend that I'm okay.

I'm tired to keep this inside of me that i choose to hide, it's not because I don't want them to know, it's because i choose to be like this, more necessary than usual.

I let myself being wet by the water for almost two hours, I didn't bothered the cold air embrace my skin.

The four corners of my bathroom filled with my cries and silent screams from those emotions, from those heavy feeling that the reason why am i struggling and suffering.

It took me hours before i decided to get up. I go to my closet and opened it, i took some clothes to wear.

Here i am again. Freeze in the peak of being alone, storm in minds as winds being down. In the four corners of my dark room.

I stared my reflection with my honest mirror. My mirror whom never laugh on me whenever i cried,
I looked those eyes that tired of burden a heavy feeling, I'm look pale. Exhausted and yet depress. I still kept on wondering, didn't they notice? or they're just blind to see it, isn't it obvious?

I took the blade underneath in my drawer, I stared the weapon of death, When will i stop using it? I gulped and slowly began to cut my pain into each arm, a silent screams from my mouth when I saw the shadow started to laugh. hmm, reluctant exude liquid rushed down to my checks again.

------

As the sun sets the room rise's, i opened my eyes and woke up with my wet pillows.

To my surprise, it's already 8'o clock in the morning.

I sigh. Another day to suffer.

For everyday rotten, I took a shower, wore my uniform and go to school.

"Class dismissed." Isa isang nag si alisan ang mga classmates ko dahil lunch break na.

I took my bag and get out from the door of our classroom.

Instead na pumunta ako sa cafeteria gaya ng ibang studyante upang bumili ng makakain ay dumiretso ako sa isang Convenience Store.

I opened the door and entered, kumuha ako ng tatlong beer can.

"I'm sorry ma'am but this is alcohol" napanganga ako sinabi ng cashier, realizing that I am wearing my uniform today, I fake my cough.

"I'm not a minor." i said in a mature tone

"But you're still a student ma'am" i secretly rolled my eye.

"uhh..." bagsak ang balikat kung ibinalik ang wallet sa bag.

"I'll take this" someone paid for the three beers, I looked at with that guy, to my surprised this was guy the who dragged me yesterday and gave me an umbrella.

He face me with a smirk, i sigh and started to walk thru the door.

Lumabas ako ng pinto, aalis nalang ako.