(OUTDATED!) 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍: yandere hazbin hotel x reader

10| "𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦"

"Do nothing...?"

"Bingo! That's why they pay you the big bucks." Vox cooes, pinching Valentino's cheek with mock affection.

"But I really wanted to kill some of those cockblockers..."

Vox sighs again. "Tell you what? I'll call up some of the lowest earning porn stars that have slept with Y/N, hm?"

"You know me so well." Valentino sighs contentedly, putting his phone back into his pocket.

The door flies open a second time, and their shorter, younger business partner, Velvette, comes skipping in. "What's goin' on? You old asses about to have a hate-fueled bang sesh?"

"Y/N ran off with Angel Dust!" Valentino exclaims, his previous frustration coming back out the moment it gets the opportunity.

Velvette cocks her head to one side, putting a hand on her hip. "Ohh, right. The cute porn star. Haha! I can't believe you've lost both of your top earners to a dingy old shithole! Too bad for you."

Valentino snarls and takes a step forward, with Vox stepping forward and extending one arm, preventing Valentino from getting any closer to Velvette. "Everyone relax. Val, does Angel Dust have a phone?"

"Ugh, of course he does, he's not ancient." Valentino rolls his eyes. "Why?"

Vox simply clicks his tongue at Valentino's smooth brained response and hits a key on his keyboard. Projecting the camera feed of Angel Dust's phone, which seems to be in his pocket judging by the black image displayed on Vox's many screens.

"Ha! Lucifer was totally hitting on ya." Angel Dust's voice rings through the room, the poor audio quality forcing Vox to turn the volume up.

Another voice, this one unmistakably Alastor's if the suddenly distorted and glitchy audio is anything to go by, arises. "Ah-ha! My effeminate fellow, you're looking too far into a simple petty dig toward me. This aside, Y/N! How ever are you feeling, my dear? That was quite a nasty incident you had earlier!"

Valentino scoffs and stomps his foot, throwing his arms up. "Lucifer was hitting on Y/N!? They have Lucifer's protection now!? Damn it! Fuck! Why does life always nail me in the ass!? I'll fuckin' kill his little bimbo daughter—"

Meanwhile, Vox humiliates himself with a tantrum of his own. "What does Alastor think he's doing!? That smiling fucker! "My dear" as if he's their boyfriend or something! I'll destroy him!"

The men glance at one another, each confused by the other's outburst. In sync, they begin, "Why do you—"

They're cut off by feminine laughter. Velvette giggles, throwing her head back and clutching her stomach. "Oh, look at you lot! Acting like a couple o' piss babies! I get why Val's fucked off— his favorite fuck buddy ran off with the king of Hell. But why do you care, Vox? Mm? You barely know each other."

"I have eyes and ears everywhere, Vel. I know plenty." His voice glitches out, as does the blue screen he calls a face.

"By that, Voxxy means he saw one of their pornos once and discovered his Y/N kink." Valentino corrects, smirking at his raging, flustered friend.

"As if you don't?" Velvette scoffs, swatting her hair off her shoulder. "We've all got a bit of a Y/N kink, no? Speaking of, how exactly do you plan on getting them back? Unless you're just cutting your losses like a pair of pussies...?"