"see you were never a saint and i loved in shades of wrong"
*update might and will be inconsistent(i procrastinate so)*
*the mature setting is on because of the cuss words in the story😄
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Liked by leahsavajeffries and 1,178,469 others harpernewman be ready for goodbyes. January 5th♡
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after posting about my debut album when it is going to release, i felt proud of myself. it has a year since walker broke up with me, i had so mich frustration that the only way i could get it out was through writing songs...which all ended up being about walker.
"dinner's ready," my mom shouted from the kitchen. i walk out of my room and spot karla, "hey kiddo, you good," i nod. "congrats on that album, harp. i love it," i feel so loved by family especially my sister.
——january 5th, 2024
today was walker's birthday and the release of my debut album, people pretty caught on to the fact that the album was about walker. the big takeaway the release date, i mean his birthday is a pretty big sign.
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after posting the story celebrating the release of my album, i decided to get back out there to the party my mother organized. it was a small party with a few of my school friends and my friends from work. "hey there's the artist," momona joked. everyone laughed, it was good seeing everyone especially mo and maddie. we all kept in touch even after the premiere and very much so after my breakup with walker.
——3 WEEKS LATER
somewhen between the time skip i had auditioned for this new show called 'the underground'.
my phone rings, "hello is this harper newman," the person on the asks. "yes this is she," i reply. "ok so um we have arranged a reservation for the cast to meet and since we have the whole castlist we've decided to have everyone meet for the first time," i think on the idea and i agree along with it.
i put on the best dress i felt that i had and then did my makeup. getting to the restaurant was an easy and smooth ride but entering was a whole different story. paparazzi was everywhere to point they were almost getting on my car to a picture of my face. questions were shouted and yelled but got ignored.
i asked the hostess for the table and people were already, but one person caught my eye...walker?! what was he doing here? thoughts raced into until i realized he was holding hands with the girl next to him. he glances over at me and does a double take, the concern was noticeable in his eyes, and then he let go of the girls hand, "ahh everyone meet the lead of our show, harper newman," everyone around the table claps except for walker's girlfriend.
she gives me the dirtiest look you could ever imagine but i just brush her off. "oh my god hi, i'm leah, leah sava jeffries," the dark-skinned girl introduces herself. "oh yeah hi. i'm harper and i love you so mich as annabeth," the compliment seemed to change from calm to freaking out excited. "i was listening to your album on the way here and i freaking love it so much," leah explained.
"oh girl don't talk about that," i joke with her. we share a laugh in our and from the corner of my eye, i see walker and his girlfriend talking and glancing over my way. "don't worry you'll get over how stuck they are to each other," leah said. i sigh hard, "i- like genuinely do not care at all," i say at volume loud enough that they can hear.
after the waiters came and took our order. everyone kept talking and talking until i excused myself to the bathroom and unknowingly so did walker. i hear footsteps follow me but not knowing it was walker, i kept on walking. afyer doing my business and washing my hands i exit the room and out into the hall and stumblr upon walker...waiting for me.
"what do you want? if you want the bathroom go to the other one, this is the girl's restroom."
"look i just want to talk."
"what is there to talk about? i'm the crazy ex-girlfriend to a guy who moved on,"
"oh come on. no you're not."
"oh please your girlfriend seems to think so."
before getting to say another word i walk away from him, not wanting to bother anymore. "hey girl what took you so long," i point out walker who made his back to the table and is whispering to girlfriend. leah gets the hint and sighs, "what'd he do now," she asks disappointed. "ok so...everyone introduce themselves if they wouldn't mind and so we'll start with me. hello my name is guillermo and i am the director of 'the underground'," we kept going until it came to walker's girlfriend, "hi my name is camila shawl and i play mckenna prescott," she says. she's playing my fucking sister?! i think to myself. i keep straight face until it came to me, "hi my name is harper newman and i play amelia prescott," everyone claps for me and the feast begins.
after the dinner was done by far almost everyone had left, except for once again me and walker. i kept my distance from not wanting to reprat what happened even though that would be impossible. he still had effect on me which was that everytime i looked at him my cheeks went red, my hands became clammy, i became nervous around him. but this time it's completely different feeling, hatred, something that i thought i could never feel for him.
"can we talk please," walker pleaded. i look at him in disbelief, "you show up here with your girlfriend, who for in fact is playing my sister. and you want to talk," he shrugged then nodded. "god you are unbelievable," i said.
he stepped back and gave me a look, "how am i unbelievable," walker asked in disbelief. "i am still heartbroken. i loved you so fucking much that i kept defending you to mo and maddie. you were my state of grace, you made me feel like i was in the fucking sky," i explained everything to him with tears falling from my eyes. my heart started to race, my hands started shaking and i felt panicked. my breath shortened to point of me almost passing out. i fell to my knees trying to catch my breath until walker helped me up. he sat me down on the nearest bench and we hugged
both his warmth and his coldness made me feel like how we used to be. i felt normal again, everything felt normal again. he made me feel okay, he truly was my state of grace. i lo- RING! RING! RING! his girlfriend was calling him. the moment was ruined everything that was "normal" came back. and that state of grace was gone.
