Lovelorn

Chapter Three - It Still Feels Like It

Miles

12.01

Me

You don't happen to have any topic you know an awful lot about

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With five hours since his last response, Ronja had given up on getting an answer from Miles. 

Miss K had said she could spend the lesson at the library reading, seeing as Miles wasn't there and she couldn't get started without him. 

Ronja wasn't particularly fond of reading though, so it was not like she had a book on hand. She'd settled for a beat-up copy of The Hunger Games she'd found at the library as that was one of the few books she'd remembered liking and was getting pretty caught up in the story when a voice came right beside her.

"Hey! How are things going?"

When she looked up, Ronja was met with a wide grin.

"Fine," she said, placing her thumb in between the pages of the book before closing it. She was hoping the sight of it would be enough for Jesper to get the hint and leave her alone, but he sat down on the edge of the table.

"You know, if Miles continues being a no-show, Miss K said you could team up with us. She doesn't mind us being a group of three."

"He's just a bit sick. He'll be back next week. And we're already making up a plan."

"Really?" Jesper asked, sounding too surprised by this.

"Yeah, it's the age of the internet, and texting does exist."

"True that." Jesper looked down at his shoes. "And otherwise, are you doing okay? Or well not okay, but like-"

"I'm fine."

Jesper nodded curtly. He glanced over his shoulders at his friends. His and Jim's friends. He then gave her a long look under his blond fringe. "I'm still sorry you know," he said, in that tone that seemed ever-present in their conversations nowadays.

She remembered how carefree Jesper had once been. Jim and he had only been friends for a few months when he died, but they had become remarkably close. And Ronja knew she wasn't the only one who experienced guilt over Jim's death. Neither of them had been there when he drowned, even if they both had been supposed to be. But they couldn't have known. And no matter what had happened in the last 48 hours of his life, Jesper wasn't at fault for any of it more than Ronja was.

"I know. But it wasn't your fault," she therefore said, forcing a smile and hoping it would put him at ease. She knew Jesper was aware that she wouldn't say it if it was a lie, but he still looked on the verge of tears.

"It still feels like it."

"I know." Ronja opened her book again. "Anyways, you should probably join your friends before they do something stupid. I'm pretty sure you're most of their self-control."

Jesper finally perked up at that. "I think you're right about that." He turned around to leave and Ronja just had time to read one more sentence before he looked back at her. "If you ever want to hang out, we'd love to have you. We didn't just let you hang around because of Jim, you know. We all enjoy your company."

Ronja's smile was genuine at that. "Thank you."

And with that, Jesper left and she was all alone again.