Followers//h.hj centric

Mixed Up

Trigger Warning ⚠️

NOTE : Thanks for 600 reads. Once this book reaches 1k reads, I'll be posting another Hyunjin centric book that's currently in my drafts!

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Hyunjin's pov (3rd person) :

FLASHBACK (CONTINUED) :

Since his fortuitous encounter with his haven, he had been doing better. She took him to her and Ryujin's shared apartment and until Hyunjin would earn enough to buy his own, he was requested, rather sternly commanded to stay with them.
But the previous rough episodes of his life gave rise to a new agonising phase of self-harm.

When the first time he gashed his skin with a blade for punishing himself as, in his opinion, he had been a burden to Yeji; it dawned upon his senses that it was a relief or a sort of distraction from his mental and emotional distress. Thus, he went about hurting himself in order to escape from the reality, as a mechanism to cope with the torments and release his intolerable pain. He wouldn't claim that he found joy in doing so, rather his sensitivity didn't allow him to go further, but he had been accustomed to the abuse so he became ruthless to himself; reminding himself that he was unworthy of love or attention while he received lots from Yeji.

He, the one venting out his tiniest worry, started hiding it from Yeji. He didn't want to bother her evenmore than he already did. But he knew it deep down that Yeji was aware of his negative thoughts as she watched his movements with her sharp feline eyes, yet barely reprimanded him. Her silent treatment was more menacing for him, however, injuring himself became an addiction for the ferret and he was unable to refrain the itch.

If not pitch black, then the days he was sailing through could be termed as the gray era of his existence. Definitely the course of his aliveness had turned better, yet colours were missing from his monochromatic life, flavours were missing from his bland life, aroma was missing from his odourless life, melodies were missing from his mute life.

And he realised that. The thought crossed his mind that there was surely something or perhaps someone who was capable of making it all brighter, happier, kinder, healthier, better, special. He had no choice but to wait in order to meet that missing piece of his puzzled life.

Following his fleeing, he was looked after by FIVE angels, five caretakers, five gaurdians, fairly he could even call them his five moms. Yeji had introduced him to her friends group Itzy, and he could proudly state that Itzy was a culmination of love, care, tease, warmth, inspiration and far more sisterly factors. They had nurtured and raised him up like mothers. They made him feel what is home, parents and love. As he lived in the Itzy environment, he had acquired their unique traits, characteristics and values naturally. While Chaeryeong injected maturity in him, Ryujin inclined the badass persona, and Lia's bubbly nature had forged him even babier and cute, with Yuna's distinct duality expanding his more. And finally Yeji, whose personality had been imprinted in his soul, made him learn many new aspects of life, which he was utterly grateful of.

His favourite one of all the earned attributes was dancing. The day he mindlessly noticed his haven and her crush synchronising their body movements along with the beats and flow of the music, it had flickered an unfamiliar yet buoyant flame in him that he had to give it a try no matter what. Time and again, their dance practices at home acted as a driving force for the ferret to discover the mentioned talent in himself. Determined to utilise the free time beneficially and gain new things, he began to dance, something that he, even willingly, couldn't learn in his previous black era.