"No I understand. I guess I should've figured. He just kept bringing it up, I had to ask. You should be with friends, their good to you. A summer with friends was exactly what you needed. " I could tell his was holding something back.

"Friends, yes," he had thought they were all there, I could tell by his tone, he relaxed too much, "You're right to ask, but we've all been this close since first year, they look out for me." I half smiled, through my obvious lie. Which I knew was wrong, but if I had told him I had only been there, spending a whole summer alone with Mattheo, I knew it wouldn't sit right with him, and open up a whole new list of questions, I would have to lie about.

Why was I lying?

"That's all he is right?" I flinched at his question that I knew was coming, "a friend?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I turned to face him, "Yes. He's just my friend."

Liar.

"Okay. I trust you." He smiled, stepping towards me.

You shouldn't.

"I'm going to go, it's late and you need to rest for class, I'll see you at breakfast?" He bent down, giving me a gentle kiss.

"Yes. Breakfast." I smiled.

"Love you!" He said with a large smile, as he shut the door grabbed the door.

"Love you too." I half smiled.

Liar. Liar. Liar.

I sunk on my floor as the text tone went off again.

Mattheo.🚫
12:02 a.m

Mattheo.🚫
He has no idea how to treat you.
He doesn't know you like I do.
It was evident.
Leave him already.

Me
What the actual fuck was that Mattheo?!

Mattheo.🚫
What?
A couple of questions?
I was proving a point.

Me
That was ridiculous.
Questioning him like that.
In front of everyone?!
And you want me to leave him, for you?
Pathetic.

Mattheo.🚫
Actually.
You're the one who said you would leave him.
I just said I wouldn't touch you, until you did.
Even when you asked me too.
Your little boyfriend didn't seem to matter so much when you were confessing your love for me?
"Kiss me Matt"

Me
You know what?
Maybe it was the alcohol, that made me say those things.
Because right now, I can't see what the fuck I saw in you.

Mattheo.🚫
You don't mean that
We both know it.
I'm coming over.
Open the door.

Me
Absolutely not.
I need time to think this trough.

Mattheo.🚫
You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Me
I am dead serious.
I need to think, before I do something I regret.
Good night Mattheo.

Mattheo.🚫
Yn
(Read.)
Don't fucking do this shit.
(Read.)
Fuck.
(Read.)

I threw my phone across the floor and dragged my knees to my chest.

What the fuck was I thinking?


By the time morning rolled around, I was mentally exhausted. I spent half the night staring at my wall. As if I was waiting for it to give me a clear answer.

What the fuck was I actually meant to do?

The choice after last night, was almost clear. I shouldn't give up and  honest boy. A trusting boy. A loving, caring person. He understood my bond with the boys, which most boyfriends would absolutely despise. He let me be me. Have my own time. He was perfect.

I rolled over and found a bouquet of flowers on my end table, the most grand, beautiful bouquet I've ever seen. Wrapped  in a green bow with a tiny note.

"I'm sorry."

And of course, my first thought was who, because a small part of me hoped it was Mattheo. But, Anthony had apologized last night, he thought he ruined my party. And apologizing was below Mattheo, so I complete pushed him out of my mind. You couldn't pay him to say those words. You couldn't pay him to be kind, and thoughtful in this sense. It was a hill he'd die on.

So I went with my gut, I could swear I was correct. I had to be.

Ant🤍
7:45 a.m

Me
What a gorgeous surprise to wake up too!
Their stunning, thank you🤍

Ant🤍
What's gorgeous?

Me
Oh stop
I know it was you
But I told you, you did nothing wrong
But a very sweet gesture🤍

Ant🤍
Yn
I quite literally have no idea what you're talking about.

Me
These!

Ant🤍I didn't leave you those

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Ant🤍
I didn't leave you those.

Me
Oh.
One sec

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

Me
Just like I thought!
They're from Pansy; her olive branch to make up from our fight.

Ant🤍
Yeah Pansy.

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