😬🥶🥵🤬😵😤🥺😇😇🤧👾👽uhh S/h, and suicide mentions
Enjoy, or at least try to
Benatar woke up, exhausted as ever.
He rolled onto his side and immediately checked his phone, there were a few poorly written messages, but one caught his eye. It was from FZG... What would she be doing texting him? They haven't seen each other in months! He rubbed his eyes and sat up, wanting to know why she was still texting him ...
You're viewing old texts...
hey7g >
<Hi????
lis5en bgaby i miss uoy alott>
<What? Ben????
maybe we couild see eacgother again.??>?>
<Okay... stop, this is so weird. I told you. We're just friends.
but whyyyyyyy???>
<I'm blocking you.
pleasw baby just listen .......>
this user has blocked you
Gross. He was drunk texting her. Ben cringed. He knew deep down he still couldn't let go of her, but he was trying his best to move past her... right?
Benatar groaned. He didn't feel like getting out of bed today, and so he didn't... He laid there, in his small bunk... thinking about the girl he dreamed of but never got.
He tried to think of other things... Anything to stop thinking about her. it just felt like hell thinking about her again... The way she smelled... the way she looked up at him, how she held his hand when frightened... He couldn't help but feel... warm inside. but he felt also a burning pain in his heart, knowing he'd never get another chance.
Benatar soaked in his feelings, feeling tears prick at his eyes. He didn't want to be crying first thing in the morning, but he couldn't help it. He felt tears fall freely as he lay in bed. Thinking about her...
He wanted to feel the pain physically as he did mentally. Ben was sort of clean for a while, it was just his eating habits. they weren't the greatest when he first met FZG but never got better in any way as he was friend-zoned.
He looked around his bunk, searching for his "instrument"
...
it was buried between some batteries on the window sill. He picked it up and placed it firmly into the pocket of his blazer
Ben stumbled towards the shared restroom, probably not going to take long.
Benatar immediately locked the door, hoping no one needed to use it soon.
He sat down against the door, reaching into his blazer pocket and taking out the blade.
...
He stared at it. Knowing how many cuts he has made on himself with it...
He started undoing his pants. he couldn't do it on his wrist... people would notice!.. He slid his pants down and took the blade and held it tightly within his fingertips. He hated this feeling... It was so disgusting to him but he somewhat felt like he deserved it. Every scar and every bruise he felt as if he deserved. Everyone's hatred towards him is deserved. He wanted to bleed out but wanted to go quickly, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. not yet.
He took the blade and it dug into his skin, moving swiftly. A small bubble of blood started to form on his thigh... and then more, one after another, Ben let the blade dance across his skin.
It felt good. Calming even.
Benatar could hear footsteps approaching the door so one last cut before--
!!*
He looked down at his thigh and swore he saw some pink. Benatar quickly panicked, tugging his pants back on and stressing. "What if it was too deep?" He thought to himself... Nah, it would've been way worse, right?? He could feel the blood dripping down his thigh.
Ben almost flinched at the faint knock on the door.
"Ben?"
Ben heard the deep familiar voice and almost started tearing up again.
"Yes, Dee?"
Deejay stood at the door, wondering what Benatar was doing in there for so long.
"Hey, man. I gotta shit"
Benatar quickly unlocked the door, leaving before Deejay could say a word. Benatar quickly put the blade back into the pocket of his blazer. He could've sworn he still felt blood dripping down his thigh... He thought right.
(Small timeskip lmao)
The group sat together, visiting meemaws.
"So meemaw, that's how Shrek ended."
They didn't quite know why they were there, but soon enough they left, Puff saying goodbye to his meemaw then they were back on the road. Benatar was scared... paranoid even. What if they knew?? Ben was quiet as always but this time he was nervous what would he say if he were somehow questioned by it?
They were driving around, trying to figure out what to do, until the bus came to a complete stop.
"where ar' we?" Benatar asked.
"Chuckie, fuckin', Cheese, bitch!?!!" Puff's voice echoes throughout the bus. The other three were pretty excited, Benatar... Not so much. Puff Puff and Deejay immediately left the bus while Axel needed to take a fat shit real quick. Benatar could swear he heard him grunting and almost yelling in there so he decided to check up on him.
"Axel?? Ar' Yew' alroit in there??" Benatar softly knocked on the door before Axel knocked back. "Y-yup... Could you pass me some tp, dude? I don't think I'll make it out of here alive.."
Benatar immediately ran towards their storage closet, retrieving the toilit'e papier and skedaddling back towards the restroom. "umm... Here you are, Axel."
He knocked again and Axel got off his shit-stained ass and opened the door a smidge then grabbed the tp from Ben who was holding it for him while looking away.
"Thanks, dude." Axel then went back to his business. "no problem, Ax."
"Hey, dude did you have a girl over?" "Huh?-" "Nahh... some twink like you'd never have someone over... But there's like blood in front of the door here... Did you like, have your period or something?" Axel chuckled as he finished up in the restroom. Ben immediately felt his chest tighten. "uhm... blood? Hah! that's weird."
He acted awkwardly as he stood by the door still.
"What? Stop being so weird, dude. I'll just ask the others." Axel huffed as he finished up. "No!- err, I mean please, they wouldn't know anything..."
Axel quickly washed his hands and opened the door.
"Why? Hells wrong with you, man."
Benatar stood still, nothing coming out of his quivering mouth.
"Whatever...I'm gonna join the other guys." Axel left the room, leaving the blonde alone with his thoughts.
He hated it, he hated her.
The brit went to lay in self loathe, thinking about what he couldn't done or said to keep her but it was no use...
oh, my god... WHYD DI I WRITE THIS
Anywho, if i see anoyone bitching likle "Omgg ben wouldnt do thatt" or "wtf is this" or any other hate towards this, i just want you to know I am in your shed.
[ps sorry for not uploading, I literallly have nothintg to post on, lmao]
~1050 words
YOU ARE READING
YFM ONESHOTS?? IN 2024????!!!
Humor(Guys, im so very sorry i havent been posting. Spme stuffs happeneing at home but i swear whenever i can ill post ! -marz) // Sooo.... I for somereason joined this awful /pos fandom, and its taking over me, help. annnddd... I realized not as many pp...
