Doors open.

Hes everyting youre not.

"Don't act like you didn't do it too. Our first week back, you already hooked up with a girl. How do you think that made me feel? We had that big blow out, and then it all went down hill from there. I don't find my self in relationships... you push me away." I was shocked at how brutally honest I was being.

"I don't push you. You don't make it easy you know?" He stood, now he was the one pacing, "loving you, it's a fucking mess."

We both flinched at the word.

"It's frustrating to be affected by your every fucking move, worry about you every second of every day, is she okay, is she hurt, worry about the assholes you keep finding, are they good to her, do they hurt her, do they touch her? How I did?" He shivered, "fucking keeping up with your life, 'Matt I need you come here,' 'don't ever talk to me again stay out of my life!' It's fucking exhausting!" He stopped pacing.

"You think it's fucking easy being in love with you?!" I shot up from my bed, and quickly shoved my foot in my mouth.

"What?" His brows flared.

Speechless. I made my own self, speechless.

"What did you just say?" He stepped closer.

"I had to watch you, with all these girls. Give them everything I wanted from you. Astoria got the title, I got the sneaking around. Every fucking time I couldn't breath, or was having a panic attack I had to text you?! I needed you?! When you clearly didn't need me?!" I was practically screaming, "I have to watch you at parties, at games, in class, hit on all these girls, and I have to pretend I don't give a shit." I let out a deep sigh, "you gave her it all, and I almost begged you for it."

Silence crept its way back into my room, as we stood there, waiting for the other to say something. Anything.

This was the first brutally honest conversation we've ever had. I couldn't believe how everything slipped from my lips, how I didn't hold back. I mean, why should I?

"Why are you with Anthony?" He finally spoke.

"What?" I almost snapped back, mostly because it was a reminder.

"Why are you with him?" He moved past me, and sat on my bed, "like in a relationship with him, why?"

"Because," I threw my head back to hide a tear, "because he's kind. He's funny, he's gentle and he listens to me. He cares for my hobbies and laughs at my jokes, he respects my space and he doesn't hide me... because he never made me feel ashamed," I sighed "because it's easy with him."

"Then why are you in love with me?" I seen the hurt behind his eyes.

"Because, you're everything he isn't." I let the tear drip down my face, "because you're complicated, and frustrating, and you're passionate. Because you're not wrapped in bubble wrap, you're borderline insane and intoxicating. You make me feel like I can be free and be safe at the same time," a few more trickled, "because you've seen all my monsters, and never ran. You love me anyway."

Who in the fuck slipped me a truth serum?

"I'll never be anything he is, yn." His dead eyes came over him, "I'm dark, and broken and fucked up."

"I know that." I whispered, as I dragged my hands over my face.

"Im unreliable, I'm compulsive, and I'm 'borderline insane.'" He huffed.

"I know these things, Matt." I was growing confused and aggravated on what he was trying to get at.

"I'm not good for you." He stood up, "and I'm sorry I ever confessed how I felt."

Silence. Again.

"Why did you make Astoria your girlfriend? Why did you bring her here tonight?" I tried to keep my voice from cracking.

"I brought her here tonight, to piss you off. I asked her to be my girlfriend to see if I was able to be a boyfriend. Which I wasn't." He let out a laugh, "I'd rather hurt her, or any other girl, than you."

"No strings. No feelings." I let out a dry laugh, "look at us now."

He laughed back.

"I'm not sorry, that you told me how you felt." I was fidgeting with my shirt, I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Why?" He inched closer, I seen his shoes come into view.

"Because I wouldn't have realized I was in love with you if I didn't hear it from you." I finally looked up into his dark, beautiful brown eyes.

"Was?" He tilted his head.

"Am." I sighed, "I am in love with you, Mattheo. I have been since the summer." The tears crept back in.

"Summer?" He let out a laugh, he took a step closer, dragging this thumb across my lip, "I'd say since fourth year."

"Matt."

"Hm?" His eyes were fixated on mine.

"Kiss me." I huffed.