Out of Time

Chapter 39

Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

- The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot

Mother,

Before people begin searching for me, I'm taking the chance on a letter. Do not reply via owl. I hope my delivery method is safe but I won't send another.

I'm sorry you're hearing it this way, but there's no other way to say it. I've defected. She and I never broke up, as I told you we had in the spring. I've joined her and will not be returning. I don't know where this path will take us and I hope you agree that it is too dangerous for you to return to London. I apologise for that, but I have a feeling you may not have intended to return anyway.

I don't know where you are and I think that's best. Nor can I tell you where we are, except to say it changes frequently.

Stay safe. I hope to find you when all of this is over - whatever 'over' means.

He signs this with a series of dots on the page, something that would look completely random. Perhaps the author of the note had a seizure. But even with Draco omitting the connecting lines, Narcissa will know it's his constellation. She'll understand the references as well, eliminating the need for Draco to be more specific about Hermione.

He's confident in his delivery method but he can't guarantee nobody could see it on his mother's end. He has no idea what her security is like.

"How do you plan to send it?" Hermione whispers, keeping her voice low so Potter can sleep. "We haven't got an owl."

Draco glances over at the mound of blankets containing Potter and walks outside. Hermione trails after him, almost jogging to keep up with his longer stride.

"Suz," he whispers, and his elf appears before them with the customary large crack. Hermione flinches and checks over their shoulder, but they're still alone. One benefit to the beach is the ambient noise provided by the sea.

"Yes, Master Draco?"

Hermione swats his arm, aghast. "Draco!"

"What?" he gawps. "She's my elf. This is Suz. Suz, this is -"

"Don't use her!"

"Why not? Now look," he gestures at Suz, whose eyes are worried and injured. "You've hurt her feelings."

Ignoring Hermione, he kneels down. "How is my mother?"

Suz gulps and fidgets with one floppy ear. Her eyes continually flicker to Hermione. "Good, Master Draco. Mistress is good."

"Safe?"

"Yes, Master Draco."

"And the rest of you? Did she call you all to her and bind you there?"

"Yes, Master Draco."

"But she still lets you come to me. That's good. I have a letter for you to deliver to her. I also have instructions."

On second thought, it's not fair to ask Suz to tell Narcissa this bit. She'd do it but she'd be miserable the whole time and afraid of his mother's potential reaction to it. Draco pulls some parchment from his bag and scribbles a postscript.

Do not command one of the elves to bring me to you. I will not stay there and it will be a waste of everyone's time. Do not command them to bring you to me. I ask that you trust me. I know you never wanted me to hold a position in the regime and I need you to trust that I'm safer now than I was.