Chapter 1 - Thanatology

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"Death is not the end." 

What happens when we die? do we just cease to exist? or do we ascend to some place other than here? So many people wondered what really exists after death. When we think of the afterlife, we think of hell and heaven, the absolute and reincarnation.

Humans like to think that we live on after our consciousness ceases to exist. and I believe we do- no I know we do. 



because I went through such thanatology.






Waking up from the biggest headache I've ever experience since well ever. I could feel my head splitting upon million upon millions of shards. double vision dominating the edges of my vision. I felt like I died.

It's because you did.

I look around to see I was laying down on a wooden bench, surrounded by trees. It all looked. . . animated. the wind was rushing in like a gentle gale, brushing against me like it is happy to see me. my body still hurts to notice anything else other than that. everything felt so different.

I feel like I'm missing very important memories. . .

It's because you are.

I still remember my life and how I got here. . . I died. . .

The saddest way to go.

I died of fatal familial Insomnia. . . and somehow, I don't feel disturbed or bothered by it.

Because you accepted your fate.

I could still feel those several agonizing months, my degrading mental health and psyche and the breakdown of my body. I wasn't alone when I died finally, but I can't remember my name or my family. All I know is that I had a life and I died.

We were incredibly sad you died. so, we did something about it.

I get up from the wooden bench I was laying on. it is nighttime currently and I could see the beautiful stars. the gentle gale is still here, I could feel it eagerly caressing my body. I look around to see the same trees that greeted me. lamp posts illuminated the path that leads to. . . somewhere. . .

I recognize the layout as it normally belongs to parks. I guess I woke up in a park of some kind. I stretch my body, doing basic exercises. I missed doing these, I used to be bed bound, gaining muscle atrophy. it was a horrid experience to say the least. I wouldn't want it afflicted to my worst enemies.

My attire consisted of my pink oversized sweater, and black somewhat baggy pants. the sweater was gifted to me by someone, I don't know who. but it is a cherished gift. I would wear it all the time, washing it carefully so not a little fiber was lost. my hair is a pure white, complemented by my lovely pink eyes. those facial features were unique to me, because I am albino. I remember clearly how people at school would complement me for my hair and eyes.

After doing my basic exercises, I call them "Energy Boosters". I feel much better and energized. happy even.

I guess doing exercises makes your life that much happier. anyways, I start exploring along the path illuminated by lamp posts. it was dark beyond the haven of light along an intrepid path, but I was never the one to be afraid of the dark itself as it is the absence of light. I continue to walk the path and I start to see distant lights. presumably city lights.

The more I walk toward the distant lights, the more I reach an exit. and soon, I find myself at the threshold between the park and a street. I could see the bustling of nightlife. and then I noticed something. people are speaking in Japanese. . .

Wait. . . I'm in Japan? I thought I was still in America but in a park. I can't speak Japanese; I only know how to speak English and Spanish respectively. I started to panic, I was in an unknown area of a place that isn't my country where I don't speak the language and can't understand any of it. and importantly, I have no one I know to help me. I'm still a teenager, so I'm. . . kind of scared.

Being in an unknown place I don't know, is my biggest fear. I don't do well being places like this without being with someone I trust. but there is no one here I know or trust. I start to breathe heavily. I slowly walk throughout the streets of some place in Japan that I don't know of. I end up in one of the many busy streets of Japan, the ones you see in action movies and video games. I see only lights and neon boards filled with Japanese text and kanji.

I don't understand any of it! my anxiety and fear build up more and more. reaching critical levels. I start to run. . .

As I run past the busy streets, I could see the faces of the people I run past. giving me a questionable glare and stare. I don't care about them! I just need to get out of here fast!

And I do that, running like I'm being chased by a thug or a kidnapper. My eyes start to tear up, I'm alone in a place I know nothing about. . . that scares me. it scares me so much. making matters worse, I can't remember anyone! I know people were there for me when I needed them, I can't remember any of them! I'm scared! I'm scared! I'm scared for my life.

I run, and I continue to run. running past places, I know nothing about, and shrines that I don't care about to describe. more and more the tears start to leak out, as my fear drives me.

Feeling the burning sensation of my lungs, and the stress of my legs from running. I stop running and start coughing from exhaustion. my tears slowly arching toward my chin. I stand there coughing for a good 2 minutes. I then hear footsteps behind me.

I turn around to see a girl, wearing normal street wear, her eyes dark cyan complete with shoulder length snow-white hair with three pins on the side of her hair each with different shades of blue. She wore an expressionless face.

"あなたは外国人ですか?" the white-haired girl says to me, showing no signs of emotion.

I couldn't understand her at all. I looked at her like she was talking gibberish. I talk in the only language I comfortable speaking in.

"Who are you?"

The girl closed her eyes and furrows her brows. having found her answer in my response she then speaks in my language.

"Are you lost?" she says to me.

having heard my familiar language.

"Y-Yes. . ."

"I see. . . what's your name?" She asks me.

"I don't know my name. . ."

"You don't? That is a problem. can I assign you a name in the meantime?" she says to me.

"Sure. . ."

"Alright, how does Y/N sound?" she queries.

"That sounds oddly familiar. . . but that works. what is your name?"

"My name is Origami Tobiichi."

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