Fan Service [Chan]

Chapter 50

"No," Chan replied, but he didn't offer an alternate reason. He couldn't without giving us away.

"I've heard rumors that you're trying to end the fan service."

My stomach was in knots. How had he found that out too? I squeezed Chan's hand nervously.

"That's not going to happen," JYP informed him. "It's part of your job."

"How long will we be expected to be exploited for the pleasure of others? We're not just idols. We're people," Chan argued. I was proud of him and rubbed my thumb against his hand to let him know.

"If you continue to mess with the fan service, you won't like the news that comes out about you two," he threatened, ignoring Chan's questions.

"We haven't done anything," I spoke up. What was he going to do? Release more audio of us having sex?

"Haven't you?" JYP asked and pulled up a voice memo on his phone. He pressed play.

"Stop! Stop!" I heard myself shout. It had been from when I was having my panic attack on the bus. My chest tightened. I'd never heard how scared I sounded during an attack before. No wonder Chan had looked scared for me.

"What's done is done, Ella," Chan's voice replied lowly. Hearing it made my body go stiff and on defense.

There was a gasp in the audio that I recognized as my own. My eyes fluttered with tears.

"Stop! Chan, stop!" I shouted again.

I was struggling to breathe as I listened to the audio. It too closely resembled what I'd gone through in real life. It was as though he knew the whole story and had spliced together something that would hurt me as much as possible.

Shit. He probably had someone record me telling my story to Chan for this exact reason.

"That's not real," Chan growled as he ground his teeth together.

"It doesn't matter if it's real. The suggestion that it's real and the fact that you both are identified by name will be enough to ruin your reputation."

I couldn't catch my breath and my ears rang loudly.

What's done is done, Ella.

Stop! Chan, stop!

The actual incident that had happened blurred together with the falsified one. I imagined trying to push Chan off of me. Imagined it was him that held me down.

Stop! Stop!

What's done is done, Ella.

But during the actual incident, my name hadn't been said. This wasn't real. The audio replayed over and over in my head, and I stared blankly ahead, trying my best not to reveal the fact that I was shattering inside trying to decipher truth from lie.

"Ella," Chan whispered. "Ella?"

I blinked a couple of times, and his face appeared where the wall I had been staring at had been.

I looked around and realized that JYP was gone. Where was he?

"I'm so sorry that you had to hear that," Chan muttered.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward into his chest. I felt numb. Every time JYP did something, it was worse than the last thing.

"We can't end the fan service while he has that," I mumbled. Chan wrapped his arms around me protectively.

"I know," he muttered. "I don't think you heard, but he took me out of the fan service rotation tonight. I don't know why, or what he plans to do."

"Seungmin," I realized. "He'll pick Seungmin because we've rigged it for him. We need to warn him."

Chan nodded but didn't move. He continued to hold me as though he knew I'd nearly fallen apart, knew I needed to be held a little longer.

I relished in the safety and warmth of him for a little while, taking deep breaths to reground myself into reality. I could hear his heart and focused on that for a moment before wrapping my arms around him, too.

"Better?" he asked in a quiet voice.

I nodded and pulled away.

"Let's go tell Seungmin," I sighed.

We found him in his dressing room with Mana. We could hear them laughing together as we walked down the hall, and I hated that we'd have to ruin that.

Chan knocked, and they shouted for us to come in. He explained what had happened, and Mana moved to sit beside me as Chan explained the audio we'd heard. For my sake, he didn't go into detail.

"We think he'll have you chosen tonight," Chan finally informed them.

"Well then, Mana can just do what Ella was planning to do," Seungmin said.

"The fans don't know about Mana. There's no way to be sure they'll respect her," Chan argued.

"We can try," she offered.

"If you want to," Chan seemed reluctant to let her put herself in the situation. "They may not be very welcoming to someone crashing their date. It might not end well."

He laid out for her exactly what could happen as I hadn't had the option or the prep. Our first date had been brutal because of the fans' unwillingness to accept that he was taken.

"I want to. Especially since the alternative is that he gets forced to do something he doesn't want to."

"Okay. Then, you two will see if it works."

It was decided. We left them alone to plan and to enjoy the rest of their time together before the show.

Chan and I went to his dressing room where I sat quietly on the counter while he got ready. I wasn't in the mood to talk much.

"Show time," someone shouted.

"Can I stay backstage today?" I asked. I didn't want to be in the crowd while I was still so shaken from the voice memo.

"Of course, baby," Chan replied sweetly. He kissed my forehead and then headed out to get in place.